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Monday 20 July 2020

Poetry Monday: Ants ..... and Funnies

It's Poetry Monday, and this week's topic is ....... ANTS.

Join Diane, MotherOwl, Mimi, those who contribute in the comments, and me, as we write about the lowly ant. And its many, many, MANY family members, friends and neighbours.

You can leave your poem in the comments or post on your own blog; if you do the latter, please leave a comment so we can find you. You can also choose to leave a poem by someone other than you; please give credit to the author.

Use the topic, or choose another. It's all about making Mondays more fun -- and working our gray matter a bit.

*****

A few weeks ago in the comments on my bug poem, Red from Hiawatha House mentioned ants. I'm not completely sure if he meant it as a future topic or not, but that's how I chose to interpret it.

Thanks for the topic, Red! I was so inspired I wrote TWO POEMS.

That's right. Today you're getting two poems for the price of one.

And worth exactly what they cost all y'all :)


Poem #1:


Size Matters

Can you imagine how scary it'd be
If ants were as big as you and me?
Even worse would be if every ant
Was the size of an average elephant



I trust everyone knows what an ant looks like -- and after looking at fourteen pages of ant photos on Pixabay I felt queasy and couldn't bear the thought of putting a picture of an ant here -- so instead, here's an eleph-ant.



Poem #2:


Better To Just Never Go Out In Nature, I Feel

If ever on an anthill in error you have trod
I bet you shrieked something like "EEK OMG"
When you have been swarmed by those mad tiny ants
Is when you'll have learned to do The Antsy-Pants Dance
Slapping yourself while quick-stepping away
Is an unpleasant turn to a nice summer day
Sand on a beach implies swimming and sun
But sand ... in a field ... in a pile ... means ... RUNNNNN


Even a cartoon is better than an actual picture of an ant, in my opinion. I feel I may have nightmares about ants tonight. It's not that I mind ants, it's that I mind gigantic close-up photos of ants. Or pictures of swarms of ants. And there were lots of both of those on Pixabay.

*****

Okay, this calls for some non-ant funnies, for me at least. Brrr :)

*brushes away invisible ants*

















The printing on the metal box says "ultrasonic bird repeller" ...













































 *****

Wishing you a week free of ants, unless of course you grow peonies and need the ants to eat the wax coverings on the buds so the plants can bloom ...... oops, that's a myth .....

Okay then, wishing you a week free of ants close to your person. That's better :)

Next week's topic, given to us by Diane, will be .......... LEAVES.

Good luck!





 

39 comments:

dinthebeast said...

The ants outside
Are scary big
But I won't make a racket,
For at least they do not
Come inside
And aren't yellow jackets...

-Doug in Sugar Pine

Elephant's Child said...

Ants? Shudder. If even any of the vicious little beasts fangs me I blow up in a spectacular fashion. And now just thinking about it my shoulders have tensed and I am sure I can feel something on my legs.
The funnies were a very welcome distraction - but may not be enough.
PS (I loved your poems though).

Bonnie said...

I love both of your poems! Your first poem about giant ants reminded me of several old sci-fi movies made about giant ants. If the thought bothers you don't watch them! Robert Frost wrote a poem on ants.
https://allpoetry.com/Departmental
I've always loved his poetry. I hope you have a good week!

River said...

I'm glad ants aren't as big as elephants, but you have to admit it would be much easier to see them and avoid them.
I once stood on an ant hill when I was very small, the big bull ants were all over me in less than a minute and dad rushed me inside and dumped me in the bathtub which he filled with water and kerosene and he dunked me under a few times to get them out of my hair. Then I had to have a proper bath to get the kerosene off.

Infidel753 said...

There's much to be said for the miniscule ant;
They work hard, they're clean, and they don't rave and rant.
I'm also quite happy that ants are so small;
Big ones, like in Them!, I could not stand at all.
They're fierce and aggressive, and love to pick fights,
But war-beasts so tiny won't keep me up nights.
But if there's one thing I just cannot abide,
It's this swarm of flying ants that's fifty miles wide!

messymimi said...

Ants the size of eleph-ants, oof. Not something i want to think about long. My poem was more along the lines of your second one, which is funny.

Thank you for not posting close-ups of ants, and for the funnies. The dog calendar is perfect.

Charlotte (MotherOwl) said...

Oh, I feel definitively antsy rigth now. Thanks for poems and funnies.

SpikesBestMate said...

I love this week's funnies - too good to choose between them, BUT they come only a close 2nd to your poems - brilliant. Aiming for a funny poem I could only come with the phrase 'ants in your pants' and then - nothing, so here's a nature poem':

An army of ants is on the march
Scurrying hither and thither
Breaking out of their serried ranks
As they scramble over each other.

Down in the woodland ditch they run
Along the mud of a dried-up stream
Dividing round boulders, reforming again
A fluid formation protecting their queen.

Up the banks the leaf-cutters haul
Their cargoes of saw-toothed leaves, high and wide,
Outlying soldiers jostling each other
As they hold together the bustling tide.

At times a trickle, a stream, a rivulet
Snaking out from the forest and into the light
And at last on the sandy heath they gather
To build a new home in the fading light.

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

I looked up the fire ants to see if they had any redeeming qualities and yes, they do. They kill and eat other pests, like chiggers. I think they also benefit man by employing Pest Control technicians to get rid of them.

Have you ever watched the program, Naked and Afraid? It is about people who try to survive the jungles and it’s bugs. I don’t know why, but I love watching it.

I’m with the dog, I like swivel chairs.

Anonymous said...

Great funnies as always. I love you second poem. Imagine breaking open a two metre tall hard anthill here. Ants would certainly get into your gussets.

Red said...

The second poem really nails it when stepping on an ant hill. It sounds like this has happens to you.

Marie Smith said...

Those ants in the driveway are driving me
To a place where I don’t want to be.
They’ve found a way now into the house
And the ant trap I think is only a rouse.

Steve Reed said...

Excellent ant poems! England, fortunately, doesn't have ants anywhere near as scary as Florida ants.

Dave and I both got a good laugh out of the ultrasonic bird repeller. Nature always prevails!

jenny_o said...

Oh, so true! Yellow jackets are much worse!

Thanks for contributing today, Doug :)

jenny_o said...

Blowing up from an ant bite goes beyond distaste to being a real concern. I hope you can avoid ants in your garden!

jenny_o said...

I hadn't come across that Frost poem before - thanks, Bonnie. I do like other poems of his as well. Thank you for your contribution!

Yeah, giant ants, nope nope nope :)

jenny_o said...

Oh my ... against my better judgement I Googled "bull ants" and they are horrifying. And dangerous, it seems. Good for your father for taking swift action. We don't have those here and I'm very glad about that.

jenny_o said...

Lordy, I'm glad I don't live there! Thanks for your poem this week, Infidel. Not sure if I'll thank you for that article, but it was definitely enlightening :)

jenny_o said...

I just couldn't bear to put one of those images in the post, Mimi! I loved that dog calendar too. It's spot on!

jenny_o said...

Sorry about the antsy-ness - if it's any comfort, I've got it too :)

jenny_o said...

Thank you for your contribution, SBM - it makes me think you have either watched closely or actually studied these ants - it's such a detailed description. Ants give us a good example of what the individuals of a species can accomplish by working together. A lesson that should be taken to heart.

jenny_o said...

We have fire ants in some locations here in our small county, Arleen. So I'm aware of those ones although I've never had to deal with them myself. It makes gardening a misery for the homeowners who have them. It sounds like you have personal knowledge of that.

I could not watch that show. I've found I even avoid books about jungles these days because of all the potential bug scenes :) You must have a strong constitution!

jenny_o said...

You'd probably laugh at our puny anthills, Andrew! I would have found it hard to imagine a two metre tall hard anthill except I think there were several pictures of those among the ones I saw on Pixabay. And yeah, NO THANKS :D

jenny_o said...

Yes, yes it has :) Only once or twice, though. I am a fast learner - ha ha

jenny_o said...

Look out if they're bent on revenge, Marie! We have a large anthill in our back yard and if we don't disturb it, they stay out there for the most part. I'm afraid we're going to have to deal with it soon, though, and then there will be ants in our house, too.

Thank you for your short snapper poem again this week!

jenny_o said...

Florida has everything in super-size, don't they? I don't want to think about the ants that are there.

I love that photo, too. Maybe that bird was deaf :)

Joanne Noragon said...

My sister had a Hoya in the foyer. It boomed often in the summer, and every time the tiniest aunts came into the foyer in a solid stream, climbed the old fashioned bird cage holder that held the Hoya, mined the blossoms for nectar, a syrup that dripped from each of the hundreds of blossoms. The line of tiny aunts then walked down the other side of the pole, across the base, and formed the exit line leaving the house. This is the honest truth. The line of aunts in the house, up the stand, down on the Hoya hook to the plant, suck syrup, reverse. The line went on for two or three days. We assumed they went to the nest, unloaded, and got back in line.

LL Cool Joe said...

Haha you always find the best funnies.

Okay I've never sat on an ant hill, and now I never want to! Love the second poem.

kylie said...

ants dont bother me too much unless they get in my kitchen. Ever tied to shake the ants out of your favourite cake? haha no, i'm sure you're to smart for that.
the funnies are great as usual but I'm really relating to the bored meeting. My boss can turn a five minute discussion into an hour

jenny_o said...

Amazing, Joanne. They certainly are hard little workers!

jenny_o said...

Thanks, Joey :) Glad you enjoyed the funnies!

jenny_o said...

Oh, man, that's so frustrating, isn't it? Kitty feels your pain :)

I rarely have any cake for ants to get into. But if I did, and they did, I might surprise you. lol

Mr. Shife said...

I glad you went with the eleph-ant picture. Nice call. I have several favorites from your memes but I am going with the cat who needs a raise. Pretty, pretty good. Captain Moon Moon was pretty amusing as well.

Yorkshire Pudding said...

ANTS

From the sky
I suppose
We seem like ants
Moving about this heap
Interconnected
Reliant on each other
But here at ground level
We're in league with The Devil.

Diane Henders said...

Blech, I hate ants! Even spiders are better - they're not so frighteningly organized. And the thought of eleph-ants? Yikes! Especially when you consider that there are approximately 1.6 million ants for every human being on earth. (I don't quite know how the scientists determined that number; but once it's over a million, it kinda doesn't matter anymore.)

jenny_o said...

Glad to amuse you, Mr. S. :)

jenny_o said...

Thanks for your contribution, YP.

jenny_o said...

Wow ... that's a lot of ants ... A LOT ... and we have our 1.6 million right in our back yard, I think :D

Diane Stringam Tolley said...

How on earth did I miss this?! Of course, now I'm feeling all crawly and there isn't an ant in sight. Well done!
Oooh! Ants the size of elephants? I. Can't. Even.