Monday, 11 January 2021

To Let You Know

My husband passed away just after midnight, January 7.

You have all been so supportive through his illness, and I wanted to let you know.

There is so much I could say, especially about the last six weeks, but the words seem to be stuck inside me.

Maybe later I will be able to get them out.

For now, please know I am okay ... sort of. I have already grieved so much in the last nine months.

I have plenty of support from family, friends and neighbours.

I can still hardly believe he is gone forever. 

He was a good and kind and smart and funny man. I miss him so.





Saturday, 12 December 2020

Health Update 4

Hello, my bloggy friends.

Holidays are a hard time of year to be sick, or to have a loved one be sick.

When I go to the stores to pick up medications or to get other things my husband needs, it is hard to see the Christmas lights and hear the music.

We have spent many happy Christmas seasons while other families we didn't know have been suffering. We didn't truly understand the black cloud that hovers over a family in pain. Now we are that family, and now I understand. 

I don't begrudge anybody else their happy season, especially in this difficult year of the plague.

I am just so sad, people.

It's not about missing Christmas.

It's that my husband has deteriorated so much in such a short time. I am afraid he is losing the fight. His chemo is shrinking some of the tumours, but he has developed other serious health issues.

I'm sorry to be so vague, but I want to respect my husband's privacy as much as possible.


If you feel like sharing, would you let me know in the comments how each of you is doing? 

I really want to hear it, whether it's good or bad.

I could use some good stories, but I'm here to listen if you have the other kind, too.

And here is a picture for you.

 Take care, my friends.


Friday, 20 November 2020


If you recall, I recently listed some links that brighten up my days.

Today I just have to re-link to bluebird of bitterness.

If anything describes 2020, it's her post today!

Wednesday, 4 November 2020

How To Stay Humble

Hello, friends.

It's the day after US voting day, with final results still to be determined, and I know that many people around the world are biting their nails in solidarity with our American friends.

So I thought a diversion - even a small one - might be welcome.

Last Saturday it was that time of the year - the time when we set our clocks back an hour so that we can finally catch up on the hour of sleep we lost last spring when we set them ahead.

Hold that thought for a minute.

It's been awhile since I've mentioned my mom, but you may remember that she is ninety years old now and having increasing problems with her memory. 

Hold that thought, too. 

My mom has resisted getting a flu shot for many years now. She always says she should get one, but when I offer to take her she backs out. But this year, with covid-19 on the go, she finally agreed to let me make an appointment for her and even agreed to let me drive her there.

Now we have three thoughts lined up. Here's how they connect.

On Monday, I called my mom a few hours prior to her appointment, to remind her of the scheduled time. I also asked if she had managed to get her clocks turned back on the weekend.

No, she said. Did the time change?

Yes, I said. Yes it did. What time is on your clock right now, Mom?

It's ... let's see ... um ... it's one o'clock ... she said.

Okay then, I said (reading our kitchen clock); your clocks are still on the old time, Mom. It's actually 12 noon right now. So I'll pick you up in an hour and a half for your appointment, and if you want help setting any of your clocks I can do that too.

After a few more repetitions of what time it was and when I'd be picking her up, we ended our call.

Her flu shot went very smoothly, and I took her home and set all her clocks by my watch. Feeling like I had done my good deed for the day, I said good-bye and drove off to do some errands.

... And realized, to my horror, that I hadn't actually changed my watch to the proper time. (I don't wear it around the house, and I hadn't gone out since the time change.)

I did my errands while I contemplated the nature of memory, and good intentions, and bad follow-through, and then I returned to my mom's house where I had to admit my stupidity and set all her clocks - which she had originally set to the proper time and I had "fixed" - to the correct time.

Talk about humble pie. I was stuffed with it. Whew. Couldn't manage another bite. Because it's not all that tasty.

The only good thing is that she won't remember it by the next time I talk to her.

But I will.


We now return you to your regular programming. Good luck with those election results, America.

In case you're still not ready for that, here are some animals in sweaters. Enjoy.









 Have a good day, people :)

Saturday, 17 October 2020

Health Update 3, and Other Things

Hello, people.

I wanted to let you know we're still okay, here in the house of the Procrastinating Donkey.

Although there has been a lot of trial and error with my husband's medication in the time since I last posted, his pain and other symptoms are now better managed, and he is also taking a steroid that increases his energy and appetite.

He has completed his first chemo cycle with no significant side effects, which is good, and has begun the second cycle. We are also concentrating on feeding him as many calories as he can take in. He has lost so much weight, and we want to turn that around if possible.

We won't know until mid-December if the chemo is working or not. Until then we are grateful for every day that he is feeling more comfortable. 

Thank you all again for your positive thoughts, good wishes, kind comments and very appreciated emails. I have thought of you all many times but haven't had much time to read or write. The days just seem to slip away like water through my fingers.


The "other things" in today's post title are some of the websites and blogs where I find respite from the heaviness of life. You might enjoy them too. Some of them will deliver their goodness to you on a regular basis if you sign up for email notifications.

For the links that go to Twitter accounts, don't worry if you do not have a Twitter account yourself. You can view these Twitter feeds whether you have an account or not.


bluebird of bitterness

We Rate Dogs

Thoughts of Dog 


Whoa City (formerly Whoa Interesting)

deAdder Canada (Canadian political cartoons by Michael deAdder)

deAdder (international political cartoons by Michael deAdder)


Savage Chickens 



And some funnies.









So tiny :)

  Take care, friends, and I hope to return soon.

Thursday, 10 September 2020

Health Update 2 - Some Good News

I'm happy to be able to report some good news about my husband's health.

First, he is home from the hospital after having his esophageal stent put in place, and it is working as it should. He is still in the process of switching over from liquids to soft foods, and will have to stay on soft foods as long as he has the stent. But it allows him a wider variety of nutrition and has reduced his nausea.

Second, and probably even more important on the good news front, is that he had a bone scan while in hospital for the stent, and it has showed no cancer in his back or any of his bones. That is a great relief. His fairly severe back pain is being addressed with proper pain medication, and, while his doctor must now begin the process of finding out what's causing the pain, he is comfortable for now.

It is amazing how much energy and brainpower it takes to deal with constant pain and/or nausea. My husband was sleeping or resting almost all the time over the last several months. Now he is able to be awake almost the whole day, and the times he does nod off are more because he is losing sleep when he wakes up to take pain medication a couple of times a night, and then sit upright for awhile to avoid reflux in his throat.

I only wish -- and wish it fervently -- that everyone who has chronic pain could find relief from it, because it so negatively affects quality of life.

For now, we are trying to get rested up for the next steps in my husband's treatment. And we're trying to make our days as normal as possible. Because if we let the days slip away in unhappiness and worry, we'll lose out on the good that's actually remaining to us.

Thank you, my wonderful friends, for your continued good wishes and listening ears. 

I hope to be able to write about some other topics in the near future. It feels like I'll be able to do that again soon.

Some kitten pictures would not go amiss, would they? Enjoy.

Saturday, 5 September 2020

Health Update

The news on my husband is not good. He has esophageal cancer -- an aggressive cancer that has already spread to other organs. It's often not detected until it's quite advanced, and this has been the case with my husband. His ability to eat has deteriorated in just four months from normal to only liquids. It started just as covid-19 put us into lockdown and doctors were not seeing patients except in the hospital emergency department. And his symptoms were not at first significant enough to send him to Emergency, so it wasn't until doctors started having telephone appointments in late May that he finally made his first appointment, which was set for early July. Bloodwork at that time returned normal results, so he was referred for a CT scan. As I mentioned before, that test was delayed due to repeated communication breakdowns, and it took a long time and several phone calls to finally get in.  

Once the CT scan was read, though, things started happening quickly. He had an endoscope last Monday, and Thursday he was admitted to hospital to have a stent placed in his esophagus-stomach junction to allow him to take food other than liquids, which is all he could get down for the past month. The stent was put in yesterday and so far he hasn't noticed a difference but it can take a few days for it to expand the passageway. He was also put on stronger pain medication, which was important as his related back pain was becoming unmanageable with the maximum dosage of over-the-counter pain killers.

The thoracic surgeon who talked to us about the stent said that the first thing they do for this kind of cancer is to support nutrition, and the second thing is to treat the tumour. The stent will help his nutrition, and to treat the tumour he has been referred for radiation and chemotherapy.

Thank you for all the kind and thoughtful messages you have left for us. They are appreciated more than you can ever know.

I will be absent from Poetry Monday for the foreseeable future. Diane at On the Alberta/Montana Border welcomes your poems in her comment section and I may see you over there from time to time. And I'll still be reading blogs when I get the chance, so I'll see you around, I'm sure.

We are doing okay, but my heart is breaking already at what is to come. Please hug your dear ones extra hard while you have the chance, won't you?

So long for now.