Procrastinating Donkey has been doing some pretty good procrastinating lately. Especially when it comes to writing blog posts.
And once it gets within three hours of my regular posting time, any tiny seedlings of ideas that I might have had earlier in the day or week suddenly wither and die from being looked at with a panicky critical eye, or else they shuffle with surprising haste out the doorway of my brain, waving their tiny undeveloped leaves in farewell.
I actually started a post that might turn into something good but I
had to reacquaint myself with the facts so that it would be a post I could be
happy with, but the facts involved watching two 90-minute videos and
reading a huge Wikipedia entry so I ran out of time to finish.
So then I was going to write about how I'm still not back to walking, because just as my hip and back issues were getting worked out, I started having trouble with one of my feet, and I need to be stingy with how much I use my feet so that I can get through my normal day without disabling pain in that one underperforming, structurally unsound foot, and that leaves no room for walking for either exercise or pleasure. And also I'm re-gaining the weight that I lost last spring. But I don't feel like talking about it, because someone is sure to suggest swimming as an alternative form of exercise, and if there's something I would less rather do to burn calories and get fit I have no idea what it would be.
Then I was going to write about how I'm noticing a drop in my mood, which is very unusual for me, and how I'm vigilant about mood because there's a good bit of depression in my family, although I've escaped it so far, luckily, and so I make sure to try to figure things out, and that the only reason for it that I can come up with is the dreary, gray-brown landscape of early winter, and that I'm also thinking that my reaction to that colourlessness is somehow springing from the same awareness that made me see beauty in the other seasons, caused by taking photos when I started blogging. Which is really unfortunate, and I'm not sure the awareness of beauty can offset the blah feelings caused by awareness of the current drabness. I suppose it will depend on how long and how deep this mood dip turns out to be. But I don't feel like talking about that, either, because it's kind of boring for other people and kind of scary for me.
And then I was going to write about how I feel like I don't have any energy and I'm always rushing but getting further behind and how my videos, which are fine when I view them on the computer, somehow turn puny and grainy when I use them in a post, rendering useless a number of posts that I had planned, and I can't get out to walk to take any more photos - but those things are also complainy, and, worse than that, they are first world problems, and that makes the complainy-ness even more self-indulgent.
And to be even more self-indulgent, like there's some kind of prize or something for being petty, I was going to write about how my haircut person for the past year has been, shall we say, unacceptably inflexible in her cutting methods and not particularly open to suggestion and on top of that lacking in customer service, so I decided not to return because I was dropping quite a bit of money on those appointments with poor results, and then I had to find a new hairstylist and that process strikes terror into my heart, because of my hair type and my pickiness and the fact that my hair is one of the few features I think works in my favour, appearance-wise, but then I asked a co-worker for a recommendation, so, at least for the moment, that problem is taken care of ... but watch this space for possible meltdowns after my appointment because, yes, I am that dependent on good hair days, and that admission does not make me happy, but I can't seem to be happy with bad hair either.
So I'm just going to stick a picture in here and call it a day, and wish you all a merry weekend, with hopefully some love and some good food and some endorphin-producing exercise (or chocolate, or wine) to go with.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading. You've done your good deed for the day, or indeed perhaps for the year. If I was Santa, you would definitely be on my "nice" list. Heck, you're on my "nice" list even though I'm just a donkey.
Some days 'give us this day our daily whinge' makes sense, on the better out than in principle.
Sending hugs, chocolate and healing thoughts your way.
Ok, straight talk from an old sufferer. Your sense of compositional organization is impeccable. Yes, I've got genetic ulotrichy --the Moors were absorbed by my Portuguese ancestors-- and wake most mornings looking like roadkill. But this is life and doodling --I do not say art because I don't presume to it-- and doodling takes reflection and practice. You are a keen observer and your hands want to doodle, and write --as you have written so well here. Let your mind take its lead. It is what I have always done, but lately, in the past few years, I have to go see a therapist to help me function and accept the aging person I am. Don't give up on yourself. Don't give up on me. We're still good!
Oh dear someone sounds a bit down. I didn't realise you were having physical problems, maybe I missed the post, but I really hope you get better soon. I find this time of the year depressing too.
So you are not feeling all sunshiny yellow today? It sounds to me like even though you are having an off day you are still managing to have a sense of humour about it.
All those things gladly accepted and returned, EC. Virtual chocolate is even calorie-free. I don't like to whine, but I've been getting stuck lately. I'm hoping this post might free up the bottleneck.
Well now, Geo., figuring out what ulotrichy means took me in a whole different direction than what I'd worked out from the context! Yeah ... I think aging is suddenly becoming something I can't ignore, given the continual breaking down of vital parts. Your kind words help. All kindnesses help. I'm not giving up on anyone; I'm annoying that way.
Thanks, Joe. I appreciate your good wishes. The thing that bothers me is that this time of the year has never bothered me before. It's like a tooth that has suddenly become touchy after a lifetime of just sailing along doing its job. That's a terrible analogy, but you probably get my drift.
I try, Delores, I try. If it was just one day I wouldn't be worried; it's been more than that. But the sun is shining today and the blue sky is a welcome sight. Thanks for commenting!
Hope you get to feeling better and have yourself a very merry weekend as well.
I'm sorry to hear about your physical challenges. Just wondering if you have seen the PBS show 'sit and be fit' (I think that's what it's called). They have interesting workouts that you can do sitting down without using your foot. Wintry weathers can get me down too. I like sewing vibrant colour things to lift my mood during the winter. Are you interested in drawing/painting/crafting brightly coloured things? I hope you will feel better soon! ;-)
Thanks, Mr. S.
My sister works out in the pool every morning of her life. She is a very large woman with a bad sciatica, and she says it saved her. She's been at it for four years now. I've been encouraged to try it for my back by my docs. Like you, I cannot bear the thought of getting out of a wet suit and back into dry clothes. I hate chlorine. But, I just tell them, I will never set foot in water that someone has peed in. Shuts them right up.
Great ideas, Lovenicky - I've seen the sitting exercises so it shouldn't be hard to track them down. Crafting could help, too. Usually my crafting is concentrated in the last half of the year but having a purpose for doing it earlier is a good motivator and would probably give me a boost. Thank you for those suggestions.
HAHAHA - okay, you made me smile, thank you for that! I dislike everything about swimming except the buoyancy :)
It's looking kind of gloomy here, also, but at least I can be thankful for the rain as we are still in the middle of a horrible drought. It does mean that I don't get my afternoon walk in the back yard, where the apple and pear trees are finally losing their leaves.
I know how annoying foot problems can be, as I used to work in warehouses where the miles of walking were many, and one little pain or discomfort in my foot would be multiplied by all of those footsteps and added to by the weight of whatever I was carrying...
I hope you are feeling much better very soon.
-Doug in Oakland
Thank you, Doug. I hope I'm more mobile soon as well. I keep thinking, how would I manage if my job required me to stand or walk all day - like yours did? I guess I'd be on disability - if I was lucky enough to have insurance...
This time of year can be quite depressing. I hope that 'down' mood is temporary and your spirits life!
Thanks for reading, Martha - I'm hoping that, too :)
When I start my blog posts, I often have no idea what I'm going to say -- I just start writing and something emerges. Which is not a bad thing! And sometimes I make a few notes during the previous day to give me a prompt. In any case I think you produced a perfectly respectable blog post here! Don't feel like you have to apologize or make excuses for what you write about. It's your blog, after all! :)
Hopefully your "blue period" (like Picasso?) will lift.
Thanks, Steve - I just don't like to bore or tire out perfectly good readers :)
I need to start making notes. The awkward thing about that is that I'm always having ideas where I can't take notes - like when I'm driving - and my memory is so slippery the ideas are gone by the time I'm able to get out paper and pen! I need a little tape recorder ...
Hi Donkey-sorry to hear you've been down.Happens to the best of us, right? I'll bet not being able to get out for your walks is the biggest culprit. I hope you can soon.
For someone who previously only grudgingly walked (for exercise, and that's all), I've come to love walking. I do miss it. My mood has improved - as soon as the sun came out. I'm still shocked that the grayness was starting to affect me; it never ever did that before.
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