Friday 22 July 2016
Dear Whoever Sent Me That Email: This Is For You. Especially The Part At The End.
A recent email which somehow landed in my junk inbox, when it was SO clearly not junk, had these encouraging words for me: "All your body and face disadvantages will turn into advantages, jenny_o".
First of all, they knew my name! So it couldn't be junk email, right?
Second, they knew I had all those body and face disadvantages, so they must know me. Only my friends in real life are aware of things like that mole on my back that looks like a baby beetle and the unfortunate fact that I inherited the family nose, so I felt sure that this email must be from a person or persons who really know me.
Third, they were offering to turn those disadvantages into advantages - how could I not love them??
Well, love is one thing, but trust is a whole 'nother horse, so I did not open that email although I was positively itching to do so. I wasn't born yesterday, and come to think of it not for a lot of years before yesterday. However, it was sent by a drugstore, so I almost felt bad for being a tiny bit suspicious.
One can never be too careful on the internets, though, so I googled the name of the drugstore, and ... surprise! ... it seems that the drugstore name is also the name of a different version of that more common drug that is so well known that many people simply call it "the little blue pill."
Now that just made me confused. Not hard to do, mind you. Still. All my body and face disadvantages will turn into advantages?? I'm thinking this particular drug is not something you want to do to - or for - your face.
On the other hand, maybe it would get rid of facial wrinkles by expanding those subcutaneous layers or something. The thing is, I kinda like my laugh lines because they show I enjoy life quite a bit, and the worry lines are there because, despite all the laughing, I've also been worrying about stuff since I was six years old, and they're proof that I started young, if nothing else, and I think I'll just keep them, thanks anyway.
The crease lines on my face when I wake up are another matter. Those are getting darn annoying.
But I'm pretty sure you can't choose which wrinkles to erase and which ones to keep.
So, as much as I am tempted, "XXX Drugstore," I must with heavy heart turn down your intriguing offer. I guess I'll keep all my body and face disadvantages, because I just wouldn't be me without them. But thanks for thinking of me, old pal. Better luck with your other friends, eh?
This was a light-hearted post, written before I knew what happened to Elephant's Child. While the email I got was pretty much just a minor wart on the face of humanity, the one she got was the smallpox version - and it was destructive and expensive. I'll repeat what EC said on her post - be careful out there, people! The spammers are getting craftier every day.
I hope you have a weekend that contributes to your laugh lines only!