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Sunday, 7 August 2022

In Case You Were Wondering . . .

. . . this is how things are currently going whenever I visit my mom.

Every evening, seven days a week.

And twice on grocery day.

 

https://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2022/08/06

 

Footnote: It might not be quite this bad, but the comic certainly resonated with me :)

 

26 comments:

Elephant's Child said...

Ouch. All too familiar. And painful.

Elephant's Child said...

And, as always, hugs. Of the heartfelt variety.

kylie said...

but mutton head is such a great insult, is it not?

Hopefully logic can prevail but don't tell her it's called that ;)

e said...

Yep. A hot bath and bed is the best solution...

River said...

I love that one! It was in our newspaper yesterday and I cut it out and stuck it in the folder with all the others. I'm collecting them, because when I am old and demented they may be the only things I can read and still understand. Or at least laugh at.

Boud said...

Go for it! Calvin and you rock!

Andrew said...

Yeah. Have you ever thought of alcohol or drugs to survive?

jenny_o said...

Elephant's Child: It takes a completely new mindset (for me, anyway) to not correct my mom's lack of logic. I am having limited success. Hugs to you, too. You are having an extra-rough time lately. I hope things ease soon.

kylie: Yes, logic is not welcome by my mom right now, unless it is her version. It is so hard to bite my tongue. I just have to leave, whereas I truly sometimes would like to be able to visit for awhile.

e: No hot baths here - it's been in the 35-40C (with humidity) temperature range! But I know what you mean. For me, it's a book or some YouTube videos that take the edge off :)

River: I've collected some over the years, too, not with a view to my old age, but that's not a bad idea! Tell your kids, so they can take your folder to the old folks' home :)

Boud: I'd rather not (go for it)! It's tiring and useless to expect logic from my mom, so I try not to. It's hard to remember after the first half a dozen arguable points, though. That's when I usually leave.

Andrew: LOL. Yes. LOL again. I use food instead, which isn't much better. I'm trying to get away from that, too.

Martha said...

Ooof! Time to scream into the pillow! Or eat some chocolate.

Diane Henders said...

Ouch. And I suspect her memory retention is just good enough that if you used the same rude anti-logic in return, she'd never let you forget it. Some days...

Marie Smith said...

Sending a hug across the Strait, Jenny! There are no words…

Joanne Noragon said...

I recommend silence and exiting stage right. Or, have you tried that already?

messymimi said...

What makes it worse, i would imagine, is that your mother may well not even realize what she's doing or how it comes across. It's hard not to take it personally, but when there's dementia or senility or anything like that involved, you can't take it personally and yet you can't help but take it so because of the relationship. What a double edged sword.

Lots of hugs, you have many people thinking of you, if that helps at all.

Steve Reed said...

Ugh. Sorry about that. Leave it to Calvin and Hobbes to elevate awkward interaction into humor.

jenny_o said...

Martha: Chocolate works for me ... but weight gain does not. lol

Diane: It continually confounds me what she remembers and what she forgets. Often the things she remembers are not what I would prefer :)

Marie: Thanks - I can always use hugs :)

Joanne: I've had to do that. It's not my preferred action but it's slightly better than arguing. I wish I could just let it slide on past me but I'm not there yet.

Mimi: Exactly - I am trying (sometimes with success, sometimes not) to keep that foremost in my brain. I keep saying she always tended to be like this, it's just worse now; however, the "worse" is the part caused by dementia and that's the part she can't control. My dad had some vascular dementia as well, but his personality was so different and I never had any problem dealing with it. Thank you for the hugs :)

jenny_o said...

Steve: How do cartoonists do it? I wish I had that talent!

dinthebeast said...

That is amusing in a comic, but kind of a different thing in your daily life. Humor can help, though, at least in my experience.

-Doug in Sugar Pine

jenny_o said...

Doug: True, and true :) This comic turned my frustration into a smile, at least for a bit.

LL Cool Joe said...

Oh deep joy. I do remember this stage with my mother, actually what am I talking about, she was always like this. I bet you dread visiting your mom. Thinking of you.

jenny_o said...

Joey: Yes, it's apparently a stage in dementia, but my mother - like yours - had this kind of personality to begin with. I don't think my mom's was as extreme as yours, but it was still so opposite from my why-can't-we-all-just-get-along personality that it was always a sore point. I do dread visiting my mother, you're right. I know you understand, and have been through a similar wringer (likely worse, I'd say). I appreciate your good thoughts.

Mary said...

The whole personality thing with your mom is just tough. The mixing of the way she was and the way dementia is leading her--neither was/is good. I remember visiting an elderly family friend (90+) in an assisted living/nursing home. She'd had a stroke so was in a wheelchair. Could converse, but the stroke had impacted her social behavior. Prior to this, she was a woman who was always immaculately dressed and groomed and that didn't change (just meant folks had to help her get that way). She had always been extremely well-mannered, never heard her swear, etc.. Well, when pushing her wheelchair to the home's dining room one night, she saw that "Marge" was sitting at her table--her comment? What's that bitch doing at my table?"

Life is like that sometimes...a bitch sitting at our table. Hugs to you.

jenny_o said...

Mary: Whoa, that must have shocked a few people :) A woman with Alzheimer's at my dad's nursing home years ago had a similar decline, including swearing but also slapping people across the face. I had known her before she became ill, and she was a nurse and a lovely person. Brain injury and brain disease is not nice. And you are right that life can bring us very unwelcome surprises. I'm coping with it better now than I was a year ago. I guess I'm learning a few things that help. Hugs also help. Thank you :)

Mike said...

That cartoon is what the internet is all about, right?! Let's go find something to stir up some poopie about.

jenny_o said...

Mike: For some people (too many), that's true!

Diane Stringam Tolley said...

Jenny, I'm so sorry for your frustration.
What is it about comic authors that can make the uber frustrating into the uber funny? Sometimes I wish I had that talent!

jenny_o said...

Diane: I wish I had that talent, too!