Saturday 11 June 2022

Building a Rocket Ship; or, Time to Make My Blogpost Titles More Interesting

I had a long post all ready but realized I was just venting (again) about my mother and the stress of providing care for her as her dementia progresses and she becomes increasingly hard to deal with and (ouch) condescending toward me whenever I try to do so.

There, I said it all in just one sentence. And I'll leave it at that.

On to other things.

The countdown for Mom's eye drops, because I just know you're dying to be updated, is currently at 70 visits remaining. I'm running on a sleep deficit and finding it hard to function. Yesterday I broke down and bought a bag of chocolate chips and ate a considerable number. Within two hours I had so much energy I could have built a house or even a rocket ship (take that, Elon Musk) with nothing but my bare hands and dandelion stalks. I sure wish I could drink coffee and feel like that every day. Strangely, the caffeine in chocolate doesn't bother me like coffee does, but there's the little matter of the calories to contend with, so I've been trying to cut back on chocolate. But, oh, what a rush to eat it after not having any for a while.

I'm in the process of selling our cottage property, which had fallen into disrepair over the past twenty years due to lack of time and money to attend to it. It should be straightforward, but, like everything else, it seems, it isn't straightforward at all. There are relatives to consider and multiple quotes to get and cottage neighbours to placate and a sense of personal loss of a place that meant the world to my husband.

I'm also trying to make a difficult personal decision about a legal matter my husband began in 2018. It is only now reaching the next stage of the process and I have no standing to continue unless I am legally named as representative of his estate. It will cost to have that done and I'm not sure whether it would be worth it. The one lawyer I talked to was less helpful than I had hoped for, and the one person whose advice I want the most is my husband, which is impossible and therefore depressing.

Although I will not vent about my mother, I will mention that this week she had a dental appointment and we both survived. She has been telling me for ages that she had dental implants put in many years ago, and she wanted them checked out. I couldn't see any teeth that looked like implants, although I could see a bridge and remembered her talking about having it done back when I could trust what she was telling me. I made a dental appointment for her last fall but she refused to go when the time came. I figured it was worth another shot when she started talking about it again. She almost bailed on me this time, too, because she didn't want to spend any money on her teeth (trust me, she can afford it), but I told her if it was more than X dollars, I'd pay the extra. That offended her enough that she went ahead with it. It turns out she does indeed have a bridge but no implants (although I'm not going to be the one to try to change her mind about that), and her teeth are in reasonably good shape except for a tiny cavity which I'll encourage her to have fixed but am not worried about. So, WHEW, big sigh of relief to have that over with.

My Lucy kitty's vet appointment for next Monday had to be postponed due to the vet getting Covid. Yikes. It's everywhere. Lucy and I will continue to limp along (both literally and figuratively) until the new appointment in two weeks' time. Hopefully no other vets or staff will be infected and lead to a further postponement.

I have work deadlines I am struggling to meet. I've been working exclusively from home and it has affirmed what I already knew, which is that I am horrible at self-discipline. The worst part is that the cats always seem to come meowing at me whenever I just get settled to work.

Okay, the worst part is actually me and my lack of self-discipline. Sorry for blaming you, kitties.

Just a couple of memes today that speak to me. Like, hollering loudly in my ear.

So, how was your week and if you wanted to encapsulate it in a blogpost title, what is the most outrageous way you could do it?

I hope the upcoming week is a good one for you.






Susan said...

When I was working in a very stressful job I always kept a bar of chocolate in my desk drawer for emergencies. Then of course I had to decide what was a chocolate emergency. I became very loose with the definition. We had an issue with parental money. Pops was refusing to pay for much needed help inside and outside the house. As we have control of his funds we now tell him the government is paying for it and he is tickled pink. He checks his bank statements but hasn't noticed. If anyone thinks we are on a slippery slope of misuse of funds only comment if you have walked this path!

Elephant's Child said...

Blog post title: My mind has gone, and I don't blame it for refusing to return.
A big sigh at your week but hooray for the significant achievements in it. Getting your mama to the dentist was a HUGE step. And hooray for the diminishing number of eye drop visits to endure.
Huge hugs and thanks for the funnies. Which are so very true.

Anonymous said...

It must be hard doing it all on your own.

The no parking sign reminded me of a sign adorning a supermarket stating the store's opening hours. Separately listed were times for Monday to Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. All could have been summed up with, 'Opening Hours, 8.00 to 7.00'.

River said...

I couldn't possibly think of an outrageous title for my week. I'm very glad to hear the eye drops will soon be finished and that your mum's teeth are in great condition. (mine continue to fall apart)
I hope the cottage sells soon and for a decent price, why do you need to placate the neighbours?
I need to get Lola to the vet again but haven't even made the appointment yet. With the number of times she has been this past 12 months, I might just as well hand her over and visit her twice a week.

jenny_o said...

Susan: I think you found a very useful little white lie that allows your Pops to be happy and the bills to be paid, and I'm all for that kind of solution! I've been watching YouTube videos on caregiving and that's the kind of thing they recommend. It's what they call "kind lies". Smiling at the "chocolate emergency" phrase :D I think we are all responsible for defining our own, right? lol

Elephant's Child: I like that line - "My mind has gone, and I don't blame it for refusing to return" - hah! I have felt that way myself and can sympathize :D

Andrew: LOL! Too much detail there for sure :D And yes, it IS hard doing all of this alone but what choice is there? None. I just hope I can keep doing it as long as necessary because I don't know what the alternative would be. A mental breakdown, maybe?

Red said...

there's lots to keep you busy and none of it is simple.

jenny_o said...

River: Your comment about handing Lola over made me laugh. It's not funny that she has to go so much, poor girl, but it's the way you said it. Why do I have to placate the neighbours? Now that you've asked, I've had to think it through. I think the problem is that they own three of four lots in that area (ours is the fourth) and I know they want our lot. If they don't get it, I guess I worry that they will be nasty to the new owners, and if the new owners are my relatives, I will feel bad. I might have some things in common with a doormat. Maybe. Possibly.

Red: It's exhausting. I'm mentally exhausted. And some days physically exhausted, too. I wish I could just put it on hold for a couple of weeks and not have to do anything but look after myself. Whine, whine, whine.

Bonnie said...

There are times when chocolate can be a magic potion. You've been through so much that you need some special treats!
It's good to hear of the successful dental visit for your Mom. That's one important thing completed and before you know it the eye drops will be done.
Good luck with the legal issues. I know that must be a headache.
Remember to take care of you!

dinthebeast said...

A lot of houses on this road are being sold and turned into Airbnb income properties, and not all of the actual residents are anything like happy about it.
We are close to Yosemite, so they do rent in the dry season, but they also do things like cut down trees that didn't necessarily need to come down...
The cat just jumped up onto the table on his way to the top of the closet and managed to step right on my laptop without typing anything. That almost never happens.
I once stopped myself from falling asleep at the wheel of a delivery truck with a bag of peanut butter m&ms.
I'm glad you got your mom's teeth looked at, and your eyedrop countdown is continuing apace. Soon it will be entirely in the rearview mirror, so to speak.
Briana got her cast off and I got my labs done, and Alisha at Quest Diagnostics is simply the best phlebotomist there is, as far as I know, and I really dislike needles.
We're having a mini heat wave here, and I am really hoping that no fires start while Zsuzs is out of town and we are carless...
Well, not carless, Zsuzs' mom's Subaru is here, but whether Briana is good to drive yet is questionable, and although I can drive, I don't have a license.
I think the blogpost title for this week would be "The raspberry sorbetto is back!"

-Doug in Sugar Pine

Charlotte (MotherOwl) said...

Hooray for countdown and visit to the dentist.
My title for this week: "Stop the World, I want off!"
You'r entitled to your whines.
I don't understand much about American buying and selling of houses, but was like River wondering about the need to placate the neighbours. Thanks for explaining.
Where will you move to?

Marie Smith said...

I gave in to chocolate this past week after abstaining for several weeks. I am starting over again…

It has to be hard to deal with issues your husband was involved in, Jenny. I hope you can get it resolved in a way which is satisfactory to you now.

jenny_o said...

Bonnie: Magic potion, indeed :D I do believe in having treats, just not all the time, which is the habit I had fallen into after my husband died. You take care, too.

Doug: Good news on Briana's getting her cast off and your labs are done! Not so good that people are cutting down trees unnecessarily. Here's hoping the heat wave passes without incident. Raspberry sorbetto, eh? That sounds delicious and it also sounds like there might be a story behind it :D

Charlotte: I wasn't as clear as I could have been - the cottage property is a second property. I do not live there. We used to spend the summers there, when our kids were growing up. Your proposed blogpost title tells me a lot in a few words!

Marie: It IS hard, but not as bad as it would have been a year ago. That's one reason I didn't deal with the cottage last year. I didn't have to, so I let it go for a year. The other thing is harder. I really want to pursue it but I don't think I can. But life often has such times, so I have to accept it.

Steve Reed said...

Well, you've certainly had a lot on your plate. I'm glad your mom's dental appointment went well, though you probably don't need me to tell you she may not remember it and might be talking again about needing to go to the dentist relatively soon. (As another whose mom has dementia, I can relate!) It will be good to get the property and legal issues sorted. Hopefully you can work on them slowly and steadily and not feel pressure to get them done quickly.

Mike said...

"I broke down and bought a bag of chocolate chips and ate a considerable number." That's not a breakdown. That's a vacation from nutrition.

Diane Henders said...

I had a similar "interlude" with chocolate chip cookies. I was feeling cranky and down, it was gloomy outside, yada yada; so I made chocolate chip cookies and ate *ahem* mumble-dozen. Like you, I immediately perked up. Happy and full of energy (and calories)! It doesn't seem fair that something so good could be bad for our health.

Headline for the week: Fleas, Committees, and Other Irritants.

Janie Junebug said...



Martha said...

You have so many things on your plate at the moment! I do hope you are making time to rest and re-energize. And sometimes we need to devour some chocolate chip cookies! My weakness is ice cream or cheesecake. Wishing you a wonderful and (hopefully) peaceful week ahead!

messymimi said...

It sounds to me like you need a vacation, no matter what, i hope you get one.

jenny_o said...

Steve: Yes, I'm prepared for the dental visit to be forgotten fairly quickly :) I wish I could put off the legal and property stuff but there's a near deadline on the legal thing and I've already put the property disposition off for over a year. At least I feel more or less capable of doing those things now; this time last year I could not have done so.

Mike: I like your way of framing it; thanks!!

Diane: Mumble-dozen - I like that :D And with a blogpost title like yours, I look forward to your next post! Or do I? with fleas in the mix ...

Janie Junebug: It's been a heavy couple of weeks in your country and the local shooting would surely have added a new layer to those feelings. It's just so sad that so many lives were lost in a preventable tragedy.

Martha: Resting is the piece of my life that is taking a hit, unfortunately. Ooo, cheesecake - I haven't had that in years! I can almost taste it right now :)

Mimi: Speaking of people who need vacations, I'm glad you finally got away! You work harder than just about anyone else I know both online or offline. I can't go anywhere while I have my mom and my ill cat to take care of, but as long as I have time to sleep and time to read I'll be okay.

Diane Stringam Tolley said...

I cheer every good thing In your life, Jenny!
Hmmm...title for my week?
"Topped Off Another One! Whew!"