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Monday, 9 March 2020

Poetry Monday: Sports ........ and Funnies

It's Poetry Monday, and this week's topic is ..... SPORTS .....  kindly provided by Diane again this week.

Join Diane, MotherOwl, Mimi and me as we walk, jog and jump right into this topic. (Or maybe not, if you're me. I crept, ambled, and crawled instead, as you will see.) You can leave your poem in the comments, or post on your own blog; if you do the latter, please leave a comment so we can find you. Use the topic, or choose another -- the objective is to have fun and exercise our brains.

*****

Sports have never been high on my list of interests. Or abilities.

I've always been a low-energy person. My mother was always dragging me to the doctor to have my iron levels tested. And I was always fine -- I was just a quiet kid who preferred quiet pursuits. That made it hard to enjoy sports.

There's also the fact that my joints don't seem to be made for running. You know the runners you see in competitions? Legs like pistons, feet hitting the ground in perfect strides, their whole bodies finely-tuned and smoothly-functioning machines . . . 




That's not me.

Picture a windmill come to life, rolling haphazardly across a field, joints stuck out at all angles.




 That's me.

There were a few exceptions to the rule -- I loved to ride my bike (because it wasn't running), and I was a darn good scissor-kick high jumper in school, considering my terrible lack of height. Yes, I realize that's a peculiarly specific skill, but I take my success where I can.

Every other sport in our school curriculum involved a ball of some kind (all of which had a magnetic attraction to my glasses), or running, or jumping.  Sports are all about expending energy, and I had no excess energy to expend.

And sports were always about teams, and wining, and losing. I just didn't get why everybody was so competitive. I understand that lots of other people are, and that's okay. It's just not my thing, either as a participant or as a spectator.

But none of the above will keep me from writing a poem about the topic 😀


*****

Why Yes, I DO Have Some Strengths, Just Not The Kind Involving Muscles

Why do sports seem to need some kind of ball
That strikes from behind with no warning at all
Balls that are sneaky and hard as cement
They knock off your glasses and leave them all bent

And even the sports without balls have downsides
You have to run nimbly, with powerful strides
They all demand talent, the kind I've not got
And leave me all sweaty and gaspy and hot

I don't mind admitting I'm lacking sports skills
I'll gladly give up the collateral thrills
I'm simply not cut out for physical stuff
My strengths are in reading and eating cream puffs


Mmm ... cream puffs!  (Photo: Pixabay)

*****

This seems like a good time to use up some related funnies! (Photos courtesy of icanhas.cheezburger.com)




Me doing sports





I have similar problems





Can you buy it somewhere?





  I'd raise both my hands in agreement, but that takes energy





And this is why I could never have a dog





Sounds reasonable to me





  We can't have that





And they are delicious





And sleep in tomorrow




"I am NOT dead, just tired & ugly. PLEASE LET ME SLEEP !!!!"

  I need a sign like this





Indeed





Kitty, it's better to actually LIE DOWN





It's all in the presentation





Again . . . presentation





  But I would






Better have a nap first to work up some energy


 *****

Wishing you a week of delight, whether that takes the form of activity or cream puffs or something in between .....

Next week's topic will be ........ MONEY! Good luck :)






51 comments:

dinthebeast said...

All of my involvement in sports revolved around my love of motorcycles. You have to be in excellent shape to race motocross, so I did use school sports to cajole me into training. I was on the cross country team because running long distances with a bunch of other kids is way better than running long distances alone.
Or maybe it was just way more likely that I would actually do it when there was a set time and place and other people there expecting me to show up and participate.
I was on the track team for the same reasons, and the coaches tried to get me interested in other events, and the only one I was halfway passable at was the high jump, and I did it scissor-kick style also. I never could get the hang of jumping over backwards like the kids who always won did.

Racing motorcycles, though, was a major formative part of my life.
First there was the convincing of my parents to let me do it, which included figuring out how to make money to pay for it. So I had to learn strategy before I ever showed up at the starting line.
Then there was ambition, perseverance, dedication, camaraderie, sportsmanship, self-reliance, and a host of other skills that I never really thought too much about except to gain enough of them to get me across the finish line, preferably before anyone else, or at least before too many someone elses had crossed.
Looking back, I was probably lazy enough that without my motorcycle obsession, I might never have acquired many of those skills and capabilities, so I still see racing as a very positive influence on the person I eventually became, and there weren't any normal team sports that inspired that in me, so I was lucky there.
Also, in all of the years that I raced, I never once required medical attention for anything that happened, but I went to the ER twice from bicycle accidents, and cracked my kneecap playing basketball.

I like your poem, and cream puffs? Yes, please.

-Doug in Sugar Pine

Elephant's Child said...

I am with you and MotherOwl. I never warmed to sport, or it to me.
When we went through that dreadful 'the captains pick their team' caper I was always perfectly justifiably very low on the list.
I like swimming - until racing is involved.

Bonnie said...

I love it! And I'm like you, I've never been a runner. Actually even that windmill might be a little fast for me... But I do like riding my bike as long as my knee cooperates. My favorite sport has got to be reading. That counts doesn't it?!

Janie Junebug said...

Love your poem. I believe in napping during the day, resting when I'm not napping, and sleeping at night. I never played a sport. I wasn't athletic and I often didn't understand the rules. That poor horse. He isn't ugly. It's funny--throwing a toy for the dogs has never made me tired. They're so cute when they play chase.

Love,
Janie

River said...

Here I am, newly on a diet and you go and show me cream puffs.... :(

Charlotte (MotherOwl) said...

Your poem is really great. It describes those darned hours spent trying to avoid balls in school to a T.

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

I am sports disabled also. Oh, I was fine till about the age of 12, but then the fear of a ball coming thru the air at me took over. In adulthood, I took tennis lessons at the suggestion of my husband so we could play couples matches with our sporty friends. I got thru three or four sessions, but finally because of stomach problems due to high anxiety, I threw in the towel. I have been convinced to try bocce, corn hole, and bowling, and always get these sympathetic looks from family as my throws seldom get near the target.

I have my talents though, my salted caramel cookies are to die for.

Sharon M said...

I feel like all of those animals. I would definitely challenge you to a cream puff eating contest.

The Happy Whisk said...

You're funny! Excited to see money up next. I started talking about getting out of debt on my podcast and it's a great topic, money. So are sleepy cats. Again, too funny.

Steve Reed said...

Sports. I have just one word to say, and that is: UGH.

Marie Smith said...

I’m with you Jenny. Cream puffs anyone?

jenny_o said...

Motorcycle racing really did bring you so many benefits along with the pleasure of doing it. That's an ideal combination. Interesting that your injuries were from non-motorcycling activities, eh?

I don't really eat cream puffs. I just like to dream :P

jenny_o said...

Yes, I was always very low on that list, too. There were a number of us who weren't sporty, so I wasn't always last, but ...

Some activities that have been turned into competitions are very pleasant until someone wants to whip out a timer, aren't they? :)

jenny_o said...

It counts here, Bonnie, and isn't that all that really matters? lol

jenny_o said...

That IS strange that throwing dog toys doesn't make you tired. And fortunate! Even the thought of throwing over and over makes me tired. Maybe if I actually had a dog it would be different. I get tired trying to get our cats to play, or even move. It's like pushing a rock up a steep hill. I'm stealing your second sentence, by the way :D

jenny_o said...

I'm so sorry!! You do realize I don't actually eat cream puffs, I just think about them now and then, right?

Actually, I think about them a lot. I may need help for that.

jenny_o said...

I've been hit by basketballs, volleyballs, baseballs . . . why anyone thought I could actually catch them is a mystery to me.

jenny_o said...

That's right, Arleen - our abilities are far more delicious than any sport! I don't mind doing the things you mentioned with people who are as bad as I am, but there's where my interest ends :D

I'm not sure my knees could take it anymore even if I could find folks were bad at those things, to be honest.

jenny_o said...

You're on! Bring stretchy pants :)

jenny_o said...

I have to catch up with your podcasts; maybe the money one will inspire me in writing next week's poem :D

jenny_o said...

I, too, enjoy the word UGH in connection with sports :D

At least you walk a lot!

jenny_o said...

Is there anyone who doesn't like cream puffs?? Seriously.

I haven't had one for about fifteen years, to be honest. I just like to imagine.

Diane Stringam Tolley said...

Hahahahaha! Oh that poem is a delight!
And those pictures! Hahahahaha, again!
Money, eh? I'm on it...

Diane Stringam Tolley said...

Oooh, Arleen! Any chance of getting the recipe for those cookies?!

jenny_o said...

I hope it turns out to be a good topic!

Joanne Noragon said...

Blanket kitty and I have so much in common.

Janie Junebug said...

I'm honored that you would consider my sentence good enough to steal. I think the dogs don't make me tired because they're so happy.

only slightly confused said...

Perfect poem. Pass the cream puffs. Oh....and that kitty resting from his housework.....that's me.

River said...

Thinking is fine. I spend a lot of time thinking about cheesecake.

The Happy Whisk said...

That's Episode 101 where I just started to talk about it and tell folks what's we're doing. So much to share about money, it blows my mind. I can't wait to be DEBT FREE!!!!!!!

John M said...

Thanks for the smiles

messymimi said...

You and i could be twins, at least where this subject is concerned. Most of the time i can't even get up the enthusiasm to watch sports, much less play them. Hope you are having a great week (i am so far behind on blog reading, but i`m trying, i promise).

Martha said...

HAHAHA! Your posts are always so funny. I'm not a sports person either. Don't play; don't watch. But I do enjoy cycling for hours!

Diane Henders said...

I'd never heard of scissor-kick high jumping, but that's exactly how I used to do it in track & field. Who knew? And cream puff eating should be an Olympic sport. I could help you train for it... :-)

baili said...

hahaha
i can't stop laughing until now dear Jenny
this is AMAZINGLY ENERGETIC AND FULL OF TONS AND TONS OF FUN LOL

you just made my day believe me

i bet your brain muscles work out far better than many athletes :)))
i share your lack of energy specially as child and teen but i loved sports and never let go away any possible chance to participate
i was crazy enough to keep punching on walls and running around like nuts in our yard lol
i still feel same which is weird indeed and of course energy level has dropped to great extent
after marriage i would work within house like from dawn to dusk and would get sick ,my doctor would say to slow down and i am slower now inevitably :)

more showers of love ,peace and joy to your world my friend!
hugs!

LL Cool Joe said...

Haha I was always useless at sports, and therefore had no interest in it. Nothing's changed. I was a good swimmer though, probably because I didn't have to interact with anyone.

Love the poem and all the memes. :D

jenny_o said...

Maybe that's why it's so hard to play with the cats, they're not happy about it at all!

jenny_o said...

Ha ha!

jenny_o said...

LOL!

jenny_o said...

My pleasure, John!

jenny_o said...

I don't watch any sports either. I used to watch hockey with my Dad when he was in the nursing home, but that was just to keep him company.

jenny_o said...

Cycling is great exercise but more than that, it's fun!

jenny_o said...

I'm afraid that wouldn't be sustainable once we reached blimp-size . . . but it sure would be tasty :)

jenny_o said...

Unfortunately, our energy levels tend to drop as we age. I'm getting slower now, too!

Hugs, my friend :)

jenny_o said...

It's good to have some kind of activity that we can enjoy. Swimming is a great one. And yes, nix on that interacting stuff! lol

Diane Henders said...

Maybe we could just be amateurs instead of Olympians. I'm sure there must be a recreational cream-puff-eating league somewhere. :-)

jenny_o said...

Ha ha! You're always thinking! I like that :)

Mr. Shife said...

Oh how I can relate to the meme of the yellow lab with the ball. Ms. Frizzle would be content if we stayed outside all day playing fetch. She's a beast. Thank you for another wonderful poem and all of the memes.

jenny_o said...

Some dogs have so much energy! At least your throwing arm must be in tip-top shape :)

37paddington said...

Stay safe, my birthday mate friend. Sending love.

jenny_o said...

Thank you - you as well, and your family.