At least I'm over my bitterness of last Friday's post on the #MeToo movement. Thank you all for your helpful comments. I am now seeing the movement as the first step in a full conversation that will probably go on for quite awhile and everyone will get a turn to speak and it will hopefully move us all ahead in our striving to be mature, good people.
And I was doing very well on my holiday shopping, until suddenly there were a few commitments on the calendar that mean I'm now about as far behind as usual. I refuse to panic, because panic makes me run around holding my head in both hands and speaking in partial sentences that never add up to a complete thought. Instead of panicking, I choose to impulse shop, because giving inappropriate gifts is better than giving nothing at all.
Or is it? Joey wrote a great post on inappropriate gifting, which is here. So far, I haven't acquired any of the items on that list, so I suppose that's something. Although, where DO you buy a dead plant?
Moving right along.
My back was pretty well back to normal after that flight I took, although my right hand was still giving me trouble. Did I mention I smashed two of my fingers in my trip down the stairs? (Probably. Sorry.) Once my back started improving, I went back to my regular schedule which includes my job (using my hand) and housework (which uses my hand) and cooking (which uses my hand) and so on and that was probably not smart because I'm pretty sure I sprained those fingers and the only cure for a sprain is to not use the joint until it stops hurting whenever you use it. According to internet sources. And I use only the best internet sources, so I'm sure it's true.
So I cut back on using that hand as much as I could and it started improving. Aha, I thought. Things are almost back on schedule for a merry Christmas.
And then, out of the wild blue yonder, my mom started having health difficulties again. She is currently in the hospital but doing much better. She had severe vertigo which was probably caused by her chronic ear and sinus issues, aggravated by failing to take a medication which she has deemed "not really necessary." In general, her cognitive and logic skills are failing, and she likes to be independent, so my help is generally not welcome, and every once in awhile we end up in a figurative smoking car by the side of the road, and it's my job to get things sorted out and get back on the road. While Mom sits in the car telling me the same stories over and over and wondering why the car isn't moving.
I do try to be patient. Sometimes it's really hard.
But it helps to talk about it. And try to laugh about it.
And then there's also this, caused by lack of activity during back outage. And probably by eating to make the pain go away. All the pains.
But this is one of the better outcomes. (Did I steal this from one of you? I feel I may have. Well, that just shows how much I liked it when you posted it. Thank you for that.)
And this one is just because black cats are awesome. Black kittens may possibly be even MORE awesome, but it's a fleeting moment before they become big cats.
I hope everyone has a smoothly running, maintenance-free weekend. See you Monday. Unless I don't.
My mum has never been great at logic so her decline was kind of inbuilt! and she doesn't tell the same story repeatedly but she makes a 30 second interaction a ten minute one.
Good luck with the hand, maybe someone should give you a too short bandage for it, they could buy it from the dead plant shop
Those sleeping little kitties just melted my heart. I do hope your mum gets better, physically at least. There's probably not a lot that can be done about the cognitive issues.
Your experiences recently have been challenges to say the least. What happened with the car?
Life for my husband and I have been challenging lately. Then this last week I fell and hit my head on the garage floor. Cement doesn’t give too much. Just a reminder life is but a heartbeat or head injury from over. Since then, I am attempting to enjoy every minute more and hoping to be able to put it into words eventually.
Hang in there. I know the worry with an elderly parent. My husband’s mother lives in another province and there isn’t much we can do about it.
My mother was becoming frail but died suddenly in my arms. Which is better?
Then I think of our own daughter, an only child and what she will have to face. Sigh!
Life is hard but there are magical moments to enjoy as well. Hang in here. This Christmas stuff doesn’t make it easier but this too will pass.
I am sad to learn your mother's health is deteriorating. You will make her a priority, but please don't do it without delegating something. Cats will open presents and undecorate the tree, you know. xxoo Joanne
Best wishes for your mom and for you....a stressful time of year to start with let alone facing it with illness and injuries.
LOL!! Thank you for that laugh, kylie!
Thanks, River. The funny thing is that the physical problems tear my heart apart but the cognitive ones make me insane ...
The car was just an analogy :)
Oh, dear, Marie - a blow to the head on cement is a serious issue. Did you have to be hospitalized? I hope you recover quickly.
I keep trying to find the beauty in life when I get frustrated and overwhelmed - I learned that from Elephant's Child.
I hadn't thought of the cats as helpers but I think you're on to something there. Do you suppose they would do housework, too, if I whipped up some aprons on the sewing machine?
Thanks, Delores. We have a pretty low-key holiday but it still requires a LITTLE work :)
I am so sorry. Watching my mother's physical and mental decline (and Christmas led to some spectacular events) always did my head and heart in.
I am familiar with body parts laughing at me too - as in think you can do that without me? or alternatively - think you can persuade me to do that? Think again.
Loved the images in the post too.
Be kind to yourself. As kind as you are to others.
There are weeks from hell. I hope things go much better this week. Walking wounded is not fun.
Thanks for the shout out. Actually I bought a living plant once and by the time I gave it to my mother it had died. Just call me Mr Green Fingers.
I'm so sorry to hear about your mother, and as you know, I can relate. It's not easy is it?
I hope you are feeling much better very soon.
We have thriving, no make that booming, market for dead plants here, which is about to become legal in the eyes of the state in two weeks...
So today I am 57 years old. That seems wrong somehow, how can someone as immature as I am be so old? Hell, I'm almost 60 now!
-Doug in Oakland
Spoken by one who also needs to listen to herself :)
Interacting with my mother for one day is far, far more wearing than the entire eight years with my dad was :(
Thanks, Red. I hope so too. I've had more fun than I can handle this week :)
I could actually kill a plant quite quickly as well. They don't do well in my hands.
I think you have it far harder with your mom, all things considered. I keep chanting to myself (in my head)--she can't help being like this ... it doesn't really help.
Now THAT kind of dead plant might suit some people just fine!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DOUG! That's how I feel every birthday, too! So are you going to celebrate by starting a blog?? Just do it! You'd have a built-in readership right off the mark, you know :)
In eight months time, I will be the age my mother was when she left the planet. I'm fifty-eight and not sure I'll live long enough to be old...I'm sorry about your mum, and all the physical trials but you are breathing and relatively good-humored, two good things!
If I were your spiritual guide, I would prescribe the following. Saffron robes and a shaven head. Then sit crosslegged in the heart of the temple with eyes closed chanting "Ohm" repeatedly. Later a leisurely walk through the tropical garden listening to the sweet chirruping of brightly coloured birds.
R = rest
I = ice
C = compression
E = elevation
I'm sorry you've had a rough week. Mine has been difficult, too. At least I don't have to worry about my parents. They died a long time ago. But seriously, I worked in a nursing home so I might have advice to offer about your mom from time-to-time. Take it or leave it. You know her and I don't. I thought my mother would drive me insane during her final year. I know that's not a nice thing to say, but it's true. At least I've finished mailing gifts. Hang in there. Next week might be even worse.
I think if anyone deserves a smoothly running, maintenance-free weekend it is you and I hope that is what happens. Take care.
Jenny no matter what you do it has to do with moving those sprained fingers, even if you aren't using that hand I am sure it still feels like you are using still them, I am really surprised that you haven't followed your internet searched medical advice, we all know that is the best any of us can get and there is no way that it can be false... Anyways I hope you get to feeling better soon.
Taking care of our parents as they age can be really difficult, they have always been the ones caring for us and we have always viewed them as invincible, and now the tables have turned, I can totally relate to the struggles and pleasures of caring for parents.
I hope the next week is much better. I'm sorry to hear about your mom. It is so difficult when parents age and their health declines. My mother is also the type that decides sometimes that a medication is just not necessary. She even decides what diagnoses is valid or not. It's not easy.
You are so right, e - I hadn't yet progressed to being thankful for the good things when I wrote this. I'm not sure I'm quite there yet, even. But it's good to take stock and realize the plus side of the scales - thank you for bringing me back to that.
I'm sorry you're having such a tough time, and especially sorry that your mom's condition is getting more difficult. I know it's hard to do, but I hope you'll find some places in the holiday madness where you can say, "I'm sorry, but I don't have time for that this year." The world won't end if the housework isn't done or you eat TV dinners - your health and sanity are far more important.
I hope things improve for you soon. Deep breaths...
Saffron isn't really my colour ... For that matter, a shaved head doesn't really do much for me either when it's atop my own neck ... but I'll take one order of tropical garden with brightly coloured chirruping birds, thank you very much :)
I may take you up on your offer at some point, Janie. On my dad's worst days he was easier to deal with than my mom is on her best days, so my years of experience with him aren't helping me one bit.
Your last line cracked me up as I realized suddenly that you're absolutely right! I really, really hope next week is kinder to you and me and a lot of other people too.
Aw, thanks, Mr. Shife. There are lots of other people who could use a good weekend, too. I hope they have it.
I can tell you understand from reading your blog, Jimmy - it's not easy but so many people are in that position. My parents were pretty much polar opposites (which might explain why they finally divorced) and I'm finding it much more of a challenge dealing with my mother than I did with my father. Completely different personalities. I love them both but this is doing my head in. But you do what ya gotta do :)
Yes, my mom does the diagnosis thing, too. And then wonders why she's getting worse with self-diagnosis and self-medication :) Hang in there, Martha, the fun is just beginning.
If I breathe any deeper I shall pass out :)
Seriously, thank you, Diane.
And not seriously, if you could see the cat hair here, you'd know the world WILL end if I don't get it clean up :D
At least I have an appointment to get my nails done. That always makes me happy. I also get to take a drug test and be fingerprinted for the potential, possible maybe of a job.
Holy moly ... do they think you're going to make off with all their grammar?! Because I know that's the only thing you would ever even consider doing.
I'm glad you have a happy thing to do this week. I had pie for supper tonight. Not for dessert, for supper. That will have to be my happy thing for the week.
I had a bit of a headache but not bad enough to go to Emergency. A wake up call for sure!
I'm glad it wasn't worse, Marie.
Nah, the world won't end. It'll just get warmer and fuzzier. ;-)
Ha ha, it will indeed do that :)
Oh hon, this eldercare dance can be heartbreaking and hard. We do the best we can. How did you get out of the smoking car situation?
It was just an analogy! Seems it wasn't a very clear one, at that :)
No 4 black cat is Albert x
Hah! Black cats are a favourite around here.
I am sorry for your back and fingers pain my dear friend Jenny!
amazed by your humour (and smiled by too ) i am hoping that your mom either feels good enough to take care of herself so you can have light burden on your shoulders.
life is exhausting sometimes and old parents don't have much ability to get this as they become children when they get old (we too will be obviously if we survive).
Lack of sleep is huge source of depression and stress so hope you fulfil your desire for sleep .
wishing you painfree healthy and happy life .
Hugs my friend
Sleep is great medicine, isn't it? And you are so right about our parents getting more like children as they age-- and we will too, as you said. Things are going better with her this week. And with me. I hope you are feeling better after your problems earlier this week. Wishing you health and happiness, baili!
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