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Saturday, 1 February 2025

Good Things

On my last post, I said I'd write about the good things in my life, and here they are.

My family.

I have two adult children and three grandchildren, a brother, extended family, and in-laws. You may recall that my son moved home last year. He took over the yardwork and snow removal at both my house and my mother's house. He and my brother have been a tremendous help in getting Mom's house cleared out and cleaned up.  My brother lives three hours away but he came here several times to clean out the basement, remove furniture, and do repairs. My other family/in-laws are also an important part of my life. Some of them currently have, or did have, their own experiences with dementia in a loved one, and we support each other in that and many other ways.

My friends and neighbours.

 Almost all of the folks on my street have lived here for many years and our kids grew up together. Two of my neighbours have close relatives with dementia. It's one more thing we have in common. About a year ago, I also reconnected with a childhood friend. We have known each other since the day we started school. Although we have zig-zagged toward and away from each other for many years, our shared early history is now both a comfort and a source of identity as we age, and we get together regularly.

My Alzheimers Support Group (all dementia causes are included, not just Alzheimers).

The once-a-month meeting of dementia caregivers has become both a support and a pleasure in my life. The facilitator is excellent and we unite around the shared fact of our loved ones' dementias and our roles as caregivers. We have the opportunity to talk about "how things are this month", share ideas, strategies, sympathy, and encouragement, and laugh together too.

My work and my workmates.

I work part-time in a small office where my co-workers are, without exception, kind and supportive of one another. Although I usually work evenings, which means our work hours these days coincide only occasionally, sometimes I go to the office early, and now and then we have lunch as a group. The work itself is a way to get out of my head and I usually feel better on the days when I've had a few hours of productivity and mental challenge.

My blogland buddies.

That's YOU! I had no idea when I started reading blogs about twenty years ago how well I would come to know some bloggers and how positively my life would be impacted by people I have never met in person. This is a community of interesting, caring and multi-talented folks. I'm so glad to know you.

Other good things in my life . . .

... My son "shares" his two cats with me, to whatever extent I wish, and it is nice to have them around. 

... My mother's neighbours were very good to look out for her as she aged and her abilities declined. They often mowed and cleared snow before my son took over, kept an eye on her when she was outside, noticed if her lights were on or off at unusual times, and took the time to have a conversation with her even when she repeated things over and over. One in particular had experienced dementia in her family and understood Mom's behavior. 

... A comfortable home.

... Never going hungry.

*****

Before my husband's illness, I would have described myself as a happy person overall. Since then, I have struggled with grief, loneliness, endless worry, depression, and feeling overwhelmed. But I am starting to feel more like my old self. This post has turned into more than just an acknowledgement of the good things that balance the hard things I've been experiencing. It has re-opened my eyes to my good fortune in life, even with my losses and challenges.

One more good thing: Yesterday was the closing of the sale of our mother's house. The responsibilities connected with it are suddenly gone. I felt so light immediately on handing over the keys to the new owner. I know I've been stressed, especially the past month, but I'm surprised by how much lighter I feel.

How was your week? I hope there were happy things in it. 






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