On the heels of my Friday whine, a cheesy post might be exactly what's needed today.
I was surprised to find so many definitions of "cheesy" online, at least in the sense that I mean it here:
- tacky, tawdry, trite
- lacking style or good taste
- of poor quality, shoddy
- corny, cornball
Stop the presses! I think that last one is just what I'm looking for.
And that brings us to corny jokes, doesn't it? Sure it does.
How do you fix a broken tomato?
With tomato paste!
Why do flourescent lights always hum?
Because they don’t know the words.
How do you stop a charging rhinoceros?
Take away his credit card.
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
Because they kept saying Bach, Bach, Bach!
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
Guess who I saw today?
Everyone I looked at.
And somehow they are even more delightful with pictures:
And this joke made me smile out loud:
Searching for these jokes on the internet actually did make me feel pretty good. Like this, really:
In future, when I feel like having some whine, I have to remember this: find cheese instead!
It's settled, then:
Over and out.
(All photos and jokes shamelessly lifted from various places on the internet, where they had been shamelessly lifted from other places on the internet, where they had been shamelessly lifted from OTHER places ...)
My dad thought puns the highest use of the English language. He never passed one by.
ReplyDeleteThat gene passed our whole family by, so they are a kind of novelty to me!
DeleteI'm partial to Steve the grasshopper. Obviously. :)
ReplyDeleteWell, duh :) Actually I thought of you the moment I found that one!
DeleteBig smiles.
ReplyDeleteI am fond of puns despite them being the lowest form of wit. I think some of them are very, very clever.
I really like Dorothy Parker's play with words:
Champagne for my real friends,
Real pain for my sham friends.
I love it! I wish I had the kind of mind required to "see" ("hear"?) possible puns, but I didn't get that talent. I do enjoy them, however.
DeleteThe only corny joke I can think of off the top of my head is:
ReplyDeleteQ: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A: They taste funny.
Not really an outstanding joke, but it is, on the other hand, G-rated...
-Doug in Oakland
Haha! and G-rated is always welcome here :)
DeleteOh my they were corny, but funny. Thanks for the laugh. :D
ReplyDeleteMy pleasure :)
DeleteLOVE THIS!!! I will show this post to my kids - they're at the comics/jokes loving stage right now. Also, a wise teacher told me when I was a new teacher to always save the nice notes and happy things in a shoebox and then to pull that box out when I'd had a bad day, to remind myself that life was worth living :) I actually did do that! I still have that box somewhere.
ReplyDeleteOh, I hope your children like these! And that really was a wise teacher. Many people wouldn't think to save those things but it's such a good idea.
DeleteOh, this is just what I needed today, Jenny! I'll be chuckling for the rest of the day!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I can return a tiny portion of the smiles you've given me with your stories, Diane!
DeleteI clicked on your name and was thrilled to see you started a blog, Jenny-O! Great to read your writing!
ReplyDeleteLove the memes - the tent one is my favorite. Past tents - ha ha HA!
Thanks, Dawn! Welcome :)
DeleteI love the Bach one. The grasshopper one I had to read a couple of times. Not cheesy enough for me, apparently:-)
ReplyDeleteSubtle cheese :)
Delete