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Monday 19 August 2019

Poetry Monday: Camping

It's Poetry Monday, and this week's topic is . . . CAMPING!!!

You'd think, looking at those exclamation marks, that I love camping. Hold that thought.

You, too, can pome -- write a little, write a lot, make it rhyme, make it not . . . see? that's how easy it is to join in. Leave a poem in the comments here or post on your own blog. If you do the latter, please leave a comment so we can find you and your poem.

And check out poems by Delores, MotherOwl, Mimi, and Diane in addition to mine. Enjoy!

Now back to that thought above.

Do I love camping? Is that why I'm all excited to write about this topic?

NO.

NO NO NO NO NO.

My husband likes camping, but he was a boy scout and liked that, too, so his enthusiasm about anything outdoorsy causes me to squint in an unbelieving manner in his direction.

But he assured me camping would be Fun. There were definite pluses to being in nature all day. The beauty of quiet forested campsites in our provincial parks, with lots of fresh air and birdsong, is still a happy memory for me; however, I was significantly unhappy about the lack of showers or flush toilets which goes along with those provincial parks. (Have I ever mentioned I have a sensitive nose? Oh, right; I have.)

The one trip on which we decided to "upgrade" to a private campground, I realized the showers and flush toilets and hot running water were offset by the lack of privacy that happens when campers are given ten square feet of space and who knows which folks with what questionable taste in music and parenting skills will set up next to you.

But.

We continued to camp from time to time because it was definitely less expensive than staying in other accommodations, and in theory the outdoor experience was an additional joy of being on holiday. We took our kids camping when they were old enough that they no longer required all the gear that little kids need. They seemed to enjoy it, because, let's face it, mom and dad did all the work and they had all the fun.

All the fun, that is, that can be had on a camping trip, if I may just refresh your memory about how much I did not enjoy it. By this time in my life, I was also starting to find I could not sleep on the ground, even with an air mattress. I would wake up sore and cranky and strangely enough that did not improve my outlook at all.

Within a very few years, though, there came a time when our daughter's health did not allow travel, let alone the physical rigors of camping as accommodation. Needless to say, I didn't miss it. I don't really like to travel in the first place (I live in fervent hope that teleporting will be invented within my lifetime), and it seemed like adding insult to injury to have to travel AND live in a tent, fighting bugs and heat and rain, never getting enough sleep or getting rid of the smell of bug spray and campfire smoke, and using outdoor toilets.

I'm so excited to be able to put all of that into poetry!!!

Warning: It's a veritable ode today. You might want to get some caffeine to stay awake through the whole thing.

*****

What I Did On Summer Vacation

In days of yore, we weren't quite poor
And yet we spent vacations
Crammed inside a flimsy tent
With our closest of relations

We packed our clothes, we were prepared
For what the weather brought
Rain or sun or heat or cold
We packed an awful lot

We packed enough of kitchen stuff
To cook our meals completely
We packed the stuff wot cleans the stuff
All stuffed in boxes neatly

The tent, the pegs, the mallet too
The stove, the sleeping bags
Air mattresses and garbage bags
And wet-clothes bags and zip-loc bags
AND ALL THE FREAKIN' BAGS BAGS BAGS
. . . . . . er, where was I?

Ah, yes . . . the car was full of things
The sky was full of sun
We drove off in a happy mood
Camping! Oh, what Fun!

What fun to drive for hours to find
A spot to pitch our tent
What fun to heat our can of beans
We would have been content . . .

. . . If only there were fewer bugs
And much less of a smell
Inside the old-style wooden shacks
That made up Toilet H***

If only we had brought the things
That didn't make the list
Like pillows, sunscreen, antacids
Those are the things we missed

I wish the ground had not had rocks
The campfire had not smoked
The mattresses had not gone flat
The tent pegs had not broked

It's strange how all these details stayed
So long inside my brain
Good thing I can remember them
I'll never camp again 😉



how my husband described it



how it really looked, which was good, and it smelled good, too



how the outhouses smelled, which was bad


wimpy me (not actually me, just similar facial expression)


*****

Here's hoping your week doesn't stink :)

Do you like to camp? Do you use a tent, or do you go in style? Or, like me, do you prefer to just stay home with your comfy bed and hot and cold running water? Please let me not be the only wimp!

Next week's topic will be ........... MARBLES!





53 comments:

Red said...

I don't camp anymore but a camping maniac is commenting. You're right that family camping wasn't fun. However , backpacking is at the top of the list when it comes to camping. Walk five days with all your gear...tent, sleeping bag, food and oh yes camera and field glasses. However , I do like your poem.

Powdered Toast Man said...

I haven't camped in 20 years. I did it a lot as a kid.

Do you think Homeless People get upset that non homeless people camp?

I started following your blog solely on your blog name.

Camp, camp
where to camp
how about here?
or there?
really, anywhere
Actually let's get a hotel.

Elephant's Child said...

We went camping when I was a child. No airmattress. My father's preferred camping sites were isolated. NO toilet or bathroom facilities. No running water. No other families.
Camping is emphatically NOT for me. Glamping might be, but I am not a traveller. Home is fine.

dinthebeast said...

As your poem implied, having the right things can make all of the difference.
My dad was a surveyor for the US Forest Service for most of his career, which meant he was gone from Monday morning until Friday evening all of the dry season, working on locating new roads in the National Forest.
So we kind of camped a lot, as my mom, for some unknown reason, liked to hang out with him.
Now my dad was literally a pro at camping, as it was often a part of his job, so I learned well how to not be miserable, and I can honestly say that there was a time in my youth when I could literally live off of the land in the forests of Northern California if I needed to.
That said, I haven't willingly camped since 1982, and that was at a motorcycle race at Ruth Lake when we woke up under a couple of inches of snow.
One thing about the Forest Service, they have the best outdoor gear. Not little backpack gear that is as useless as it is insubstantial, I'm talking thick, flannel lined canvas sleeping bags large enough for two, that is actually waterproof (we didn't know it had snowed until we got up).
I've had fun camping, but as you mentioned, mostly when I was a kid and had all of the hard parts done for me by the adults; once I was old enough to understand how much work it was, I lost interest in doing it for its own sake.
Cabins don't count. Like the ones we stayed in on Easter break in 7th grade for a week with the principal of our junior high school as a part of the MGM program that was basically an attempt at keeping the high achieving kids from getting bored and causing trouble. We slept on the floor of the (let's call it what it was, a house) cabin, and the other kids were jealous of my plush sleeping bag...

-Doug in Oakland

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

You described it well, Jenny. I can deal with a lot, but I need my own bathroom.

We camped once with friends who had a small vacation trailer by the water. I thought it would be fun and doable since we would be sleeping inside and not outside on the ground. We were having a lovely time and that evening we sat by the campfire enjoying our dinner of crabs that we caught. About an hour later our feet and legs started to itch and for the rest of the night and for a week or two later we were in agony. That was when we learned about chiggers. We drove home and agreed that we would never camp again unless we were in a luxury Winnebago that was parked next to a Marriott hotel.

Charlotte (MotherOwl) said...

What a great poem. But I think your husband would be better off bringing me on his camping trips - No just for fun.
I went camping in my youth. We went by train, carrying only a back-pack, no airmattresses, no bug spray or alomost any other commodity. We loved it, The vistas, the closenes to everything - and if the neighbours stayed up all night playing Speedy Gonzales over and over again, we just moved our tiny tent. A good camp site was one with hot water, an even better one was when the sink had a plug, so we could wash our spaer set of clothes ;)
We even went camping with babies, from the oldest was 2 month old and later hed baby brother until we had more children than hands. Then we stayed home.
I still dream of travelling Europe as we did, watching the sun set over the hills behind Assisi, rising over the dome in Milan and all those wonderful places.
Now our children will soon be old enough ...
Sorry for hi-jacking your comment section with my dreams.

River said...

I don't like to camp, not even speaking from experience here. I've never camped, have no intention of ever camping unless said camping is done inside a 5 star hotel. Give me home comforts all the way baby! LOVE your poem.

only slightly confused said...

Oh yes, we camped, with our daughtr. We had an AMC Gremlin...remember those? If it didn't fit inside a Gremlin it didn't come with us. So...two backpacker tents, three backpacker sleeping bags, three rolls of bubble pack etc. etc.....I had it down to a science and all went well once it dawned on me to bring THE PAIL.

jenny_o said...

You and my husband would get along fine!! I'll just stay here, thanks :)

jenny_o said...

That's a good question about homeless vs non homeless people. They probably could get upset about that, among many other things.

Speaking of blog names - Powdered Toast Man is pretty intriguing! I'll be taking a look at your blog :)

I like your poem! Thanks for playing along.

jenny_o said...

Your camping experiences beat mine, hands done . . . in a bad way. That sounds mighty uncomfortable for those of us who don't care for roughing it!

Like you say, glamping still involves travel. Pfft. I'll stay home too.

jenny_o said...

Your dad's job sounds interesting. I imagine he had a leaning toward being outdoorsy in the first place to have trained for that work. And knowing what you're doing in the forest would make a huge difference. You're lucky to have those memories.

Even a cabin/house isn't comfortable enough for me unless it has a good mattress and a flush toilet! lol

jenny_o said...

Oh, my! That would definitely put me off too! I love your last sentence - sounds about right for me, too.

Yep, the bathroom is probably the very most important thing for me. Preferably within ten paces :)

jenny_o said...

Never worry about length of comments, MotherOwl! I love to read the thoughts of others that are prompted by a post.

Your experiences and dreams really highlight the differences among people. My husband would probably tag along with you quite happily, while I stayed home happily :D You have some wonderful memories connected with camping.

jenny_o said...

Hahaha! Me, too, River :) And thank you :)

jenny_o said...

The Pail? Is that for what I think it's for? Brilliant!

Marie Smith said...

I camped with the family for one night this summer and it was quite enjoyable. I can imagine everything as you describe it though. Great job!

Bonnie said...

I did some camping when I was much younger. I think I'm past it now! Your poem is great! Do you keep all your poems together in a book? You definitely should so you can pass them down.

Diane Stringam Tolley said...

HAve I mentioned that I absolutely LOVE your poetry?!
This was absolutely priceless! BAGS BAGS BAGS! Where was I... Bwahahahaha!
Too bad you gave up your camping life. You may have ended up next to us! ;)

Diane Stringam Tolley said...

Yep. Pretty much describes it now...

e said...

I camped in jungle or rain forest as a kid. I was a girl scout up through college, Would not do it now though. I'm sorry to here your daughter's health was fragile. Enjoyed the poem.

messymimi said...

If you've read my poem by now (and i think you have, i just got in from work), you know that i am on your side, 100%.

Infidel753 said...

I do not like at all to camp
The bugs, the stink, the dirt, the damp
No microwave, no TV set
And where the heck's my internet?

jenny_o said...

Some people seem cut out for camping and others aren't . . . you must be in the first group!

jenny_o said...

Thanks, Bonnie! I'll have to consider your suggestion!

jenny_o said...

Now THAT would make it all worthwhile, Diane!

It really always seemed to me that I was dealing with more bags than anything else :)

jenny_o said...

Wow - jungle/rain forest would be a whole other experience, e. Good for you. I can't imagine dealing with all the critters you'd be watching out for. We don't have much of anything deadly around here, which makes it easier for sure.

jenny_o said...

Hah! I'll be right over to read, Mimi - I just got home from work, too :)

jenny_o said...

LOL! Perfect :)

Anonymous said...

I love the poem. So, you leave a comfortable home to lie on the ground with some fabric keeping the weather off you all the time getting bitten by bugs. I have never camped and I have no intention of doing so for all the reasons you mention.

Joanne Noragon said...

I left camping when my husband left home. Nuff said.

jenny_o said...

I don't see the attraction either but many people do. I'm glad I'm not alone, though :D

jenny_o said...

Yep :)

baili said...

Oh dear

i bet if someone who was about to go for it ,will cancel it if reads your post lol

i am happy that this topic provoked you to write bit long post which i was missing since days :)

i am speechless with your brilliantly done sharing dear Jenny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

powerful post with busting humor :)))

i was excited with topic but when you mentioned toilet oh dear ,i postponed all my future (might be) plans of camping immediately

Poem is Mighty and truly Amusing :)))
you always hold the nose from surprising direction i mean deal topic in differently but very funnily ,You have extra ordinary Brian my friend :)
Hugs!

jenny_o said...

You are always such an appreciative reader, my dear friend! I'm glad you enjoy my kind of humour and I love the phrase "busting humor"! ha ha

Yeah, I don't do well without my comforts in the bathroom department :)

Thank you for your kind comments, baili :)

kylie said...

oh gosh! what i could write about camping!

i used to like the camping experience but now when you say the word camping all that comes to mind is a lot of difficult memories relating to my husband.

as much as i liked camping, i have to say your poem describes it perfectly. especially the bags!

jenny_o said...

You must feel quite ambivalent about the topic, having both good and bad memories about it.

Yes, the bags. Drowning in bags of all kinds!

37paddington said...

I liked camping in my youth when all my limbs folded and unfolded effortlessly. Now, it would be a disaster so yes, I'm with you on the comfy bed thing.

jenny_o said...

Your comment has made me suddenly wonder if I could even get up off an air mattress nowadays!! That "folding and unfolding limbs" thing is pretty important :)

Cherie said...

On no! the subjects turned to camping
Sleeping in a tent
Bugs and beasties sneaking in with nasty ill intent
Pouring rain and bitter winds will make your weekend suck
Especially when a trip outside covers you with muck

But hang now I'm all grown up I rather fancy camping
All the fun of outdoor life is now disguised as glamping
I'll bring some wine and lovely snacks and maybe sit and read
And if those flippin insects bite I'll beat them till they bleed

jenny_o said...

Hahaha! I hear you, Cherie :D

Thank you for this!

Mr. Shife said...

I loved this post. I don't get the appeal of camping either. I think nature is cool and all but I would rather come home and sleep in my humble abode. I am with you on teleporting. It would definitely make life easier.

jenny_o said...

In fact, you could day-camp and teleport back home to enjoy a comfy bed and shower, right? :D

The Blog Fodder said...

Love the camping poem. Our family camped when the kids were young. We had a huge two room Woods 5 star tent that took two men and a donkey to carry. I liked camping better than my wife whose idea of camping was the penthouse suite at a luxury hotel.

jenny_o said...

Hah! Mine, too :)

Victor said...

My idea of "camping," is a motel without a bar!!!

Diane Henders said...

We used to camp a lot, but that was back in the days when campground spaces had a modicum of privacy with few trees between sites. The campgrounds got more expensive and more crowded, the bears got more frequent, and the ground got colder and harder (that's my story, anyway). These days we 'camp' in hotels, because they don't cost THAT much more than camping sites; and they come with soft warm beds, hot showers, flush toilets, and no bears. Yep, I'm getting old... and I don't care. :-)

jenny_o said...

Hahaha! That's really roughing it, huh? :)

jenny_o said...

Bears? BEARS? That does it, I'm not only never camping again, I'm never even THINKING about camping again - lol We have far more black bears around than in years past . . . Oh, thanks, Diane, now I'm going to have nightmares!

Diane Henders said...

Oops, sorry about that! Just remember that the bears would much rather avoid you - given the choice, they'll run away.

You wouldn't like our current home - we've been scaring off a black bear regularly for the past week. He's been climbing the wild cherry trees just a few hundred feet from our house, and we want to make sure he doesn't get habituated to human presence. (Also don't really want him getting any closer to our fruit trees.) I hope, for his sake, that he keeps thinking humans are scary things to be avoided.

jenny_o said...

I do know that about black bears but but but . . .

Do you have grizzlies near you? Scaring off a cherry-loving black bear sounds like a full-time job. Yes, keep him afraid!!

Diane Henders said...

I'm told that there are grizzlies on the Island, but I'm hoping to never hear of or see one in our vicinity. I'm cautious of black bears and would never get any closer than to step out of the house and make noise when they're a few hundred feet away, but grizzlies scare the absolute **** out of me!

jenny_o said...

And no wonder! Brrrr ...

Be careful out there :)