Poetry Monday: Sports ........ and Funnies

It's Poetry Monday, and this week's topic is ..... SPORTS .....  kindly provided by Diane again this week.

Join Diane, MotherOwl, Mimi and me as we walk, jog and jump right into this topic. (Or maybe not, if you're me. I crept, ambled, and crawled instead, as you will see.) You can leave your poem in the comments, or post on your own blog; if you do the latter, please leave a comment so we can find you. Use the topic, or choose another -- the objective is to have fun and exercise our brains.

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Sports have never been high on my list of interests. Or abilities.

I've always been a low-energy person. My mother was always dragging me to the doctor to have my iron levels tested. And I was always fine -- I was just a quiet kid who preferred quiet pursuits. That made it hard to enjoy sports.

There's also the fact that my joints don't seem to be made for running. You know the runners you see in competitions? Legs like pistons, feet hitting the ground in perfect strides, their whole bodies finely-tuned and smoothly-functioning machines . . . 

That's not me.

Picture a windmill come to life, rolling haphazardly across a field, joints stuck out at all angles.

 That's me.

There were a few exceptions to the rule -- I loved to ride my bike (because it wasn't running), and I was a darn good scissor-kick high jumper in school, considering my terrible lack of height. Yes, I realize that's a peculiarly specific skill, but I take my success where I can.

Every other sport in our school curriculum involved a ball of some kind (all of which had a magnetic attraction to my glasses), or running, or jumping.  Sports are all about expending energy, and I had no excess energy to expend.

And sports were always about teams, and wining, and losing. I just didn't get why everybody was so competitive. I understand that lots of other people are, and that's okay. It's just not my thing, either as a participant or as a spectator.

But none of the above will keep me from writing a poem about the topic 😀


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Why Yes, I DO Have Some Strengths, Just Not The Kind Involving Muscles

Why do sports seem to need some kind of ball
That strikes from behind with no warning at all
Balls that are sneaky and hard as cement
They knock off your glasses and leave them all bent

And even the sports without balls have downsides
You have to run nimbly, with powerful strides
They all demand talent, the kind I've not got
And leave me all sweaty and gaspy and hot

I don't mind admitting I'm lacking sports skills
I'll gladly give up the collateral thrills
I'm simply not cut out for physical stuff
My strengths are in reading and eating cream puffs

Mmm ... cream puffs!  (Photo: Pixabay)

*****

This seems like a good time to use up some related funnies! (Photos courtesy of icanhas.cheezburger.com)

Me doing sports

I have similar problems

Can you buy it somewhere?

  I'd raise both my hands in agreement, but that takes energy

And this is why I could never have a dog

Sounds reasonable to me

  We can't have that

And they are delicious

And sleep in tomorrow

"I am NOT dead, just tired & ugly. PLEASE LET ME SLEEP !!!!"

  I need a sign like this

Indeed

Kitty, it's better to actually LIE DOWN

It's all in the presentation

Again . . . presentation

  But I would

Better have a nap first to work up some energy

 *****

Wishing you a week of delight, whether that takes the form of activity or cream puffs or something in between .....

Next week's topic will be ........ MONEY! Good luck :)