Friday, 8 December 2017

Sober Second Thought


I had a post all written about my reservations regarding the seeming excoriation of all the men on the planet by the #metoo movement, or perhaps it's just the "me too" bandwagon aspect of it that's making me crazy, but at the last minute I pulled the plug on it. I'm going to let it sit and see how I feel about it in a few days or a week.

How's that for dipping my toe in the water without committing to going swimming?

Let's just go with this for today instead.


Recklessly stolen from Facebook. I'm not insulting old people. I AM one.


Have a good weekend, folks.

44 comments:

  1. Love it, I wonder how many would still get lost wandering around that field?
    I'm not happy about the barrage of "me too's" either, but that's what happens when one finally breaks the silence and gives others the courage to say it happened to them too. But how many are just jumping in for the fifteen minutes of fame over a pat on the shoulder? kiss on the cheek? congratulatory quick hug? all of which could be completely harmless.

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    1. Yes, and even if not completely innocent, perhaps forgiveable? Just like women do things that need forgiven sometimes . . .

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  2. I have immense reservations about tarring everyone with the same brush. However, I am very, very glad that some of the behaviour which has been an accepted/expected part of too many women's lives is being exposed.
    How's that for fence sitting.
    Have a wonderful weekend.

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    1. I see many sides to every issue; it makes it hard to really write something without sounding like I can't make up my mind. Life isn't black and white. Fence sitting is not a bad thing :)

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  3. Pardon my ignorance, but what is a "me too" movement? Unless it's self-explanatory and is all about 'number one'.

    Joan (Devon)

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    1. The Me Too phrase was brought into being by Tarana Burke, a social activist, to denounce sexual assault and harassment, but it really started to take off in October 2017 when Alyssa Milano (an actress) encouraged women to use it as a hashtag (#MeToo) on Twitter to show how widespread this treatment of women is. Here is a link to the wikipedia article on it:
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Me_Too_(hashtag)

      I'm glad you asked, because it has made me realize not everyone is being consumed by it!

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  4. I think many of us have misgivings about "me too," but I'm glad society is at least having the conversation. It all needs to be said.

    I love that photo! Awesome.

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    1. Yes, I need to think of it as a conversation, as that implies there is still more to be discovered, in all senses of the word.

      That's a corn maze I could enjoy :)

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  5. I have many unpublished drafts that I left to think about. I have thoughts about what is going on today and the difference degrees of harassment all being put in one pot.

    I love the cartoon. I always find it best to laugh at at things than take offense. Funny is funny.

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    1. I'm glad to know others are thinking about all aspects of the issue even if there are not many of those thoughts being put out there yet. I like Steve's characterization of it, above, as a conversation. There is more that needs said, and all of the points of view are important and need heard.

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  6. It’s scary writing about controversial subjects. Also, it could be that you are not quite as clear on how you feel about it. That’s the case for me, anyways. There are two sides and I’m on both of them. Jenny’s Lark, a blog I recently started following, had an excellent post on this very thing on or around Thanksgiving, if you are interested.

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    1. "There are two sides and I'm on both of them" - this is exactly right! I'll check out that post - thank you for pointing the way, Chickie.

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  7. There are things I am on the verge of writing but have decided not to for now. Time will tell!

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    1. Yes, in hindsight, I'm glad I didn't publish my original post. It didn't feel exactly right, at this point in time. I probably shouldn't have even talked about it to the extent I did.

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  8. I think I could even get lost in that lol.

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    1. Well, especially if it was dark outside, Delores, which it is just about all the time these days :)

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  9. Oh, Jenny_O, once I had a many sided, un-round, decorative thing. I could set it on any side. This current purge has many sides, representing everyone from the oldest of us to the youngest. Each is bringing a different point of view to the discussion, and that is OK. None of us have the same perspective on this. We old people learned how to deal with it. Young men and women are dealing with it publicly. The discussion has brought up everyone in the net. There's no going back. For the young ones, it's a purge or nothing. It's their world. Al Franken knows it, and knows we old people ache for him.

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    1. Yes. Yes! You've said it so well Joanne - thank you for that.

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  10. Good advice to yourself. Sometimes issues are clearer when we take more time to contemplate.

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    1. Yes, I have to be careful not to go off half baked!

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  11. I would recommend watching Jess McIntosh, who worked for Franken for years and is still his friend, talk about why she's glad he resigned, on Chris Hayes' show last night.
    She said that Democrats need to make this count, and I agree with her.
    Women are less than 20% of congress.
    Women are more than 50% of the population.
    EMILY's list says they have fielded 20,000 calls this year from women wanting to run for office.
    Which is hardly surprising, considering how the Republicans many of them voted for last time have been attacking their children ever since they won.
    As for the "Me Too" women, all I can say is that there are a bunch (though not enough)of us who somehow managed to conduct ourselves with the most basic amount of human decency who are tickled over the belated comeuppances finally arriving.
    I believe we should try to make this a lasting change in our culture, and yes that does spell danger for some basically decent men who have behaved badly in the past.
    I tend to think that if they come clean and own their past behavior, they will be more likely to be forgiven. I also acknowledge that to be harder than it sounds.
    I don't remember anyone ever saying it would be easy.

    -Doug in Oakland

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    1. No one is perfect and I don't say that to make excuses for anyone but to remind accusers of their own fallibility. Forgiveness is a whole lot easier when we remember our own mistakes.

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  12. Corn maze...hahha...I like that! Every year lately when I see a corn maze I think of the people who get lost in them and have to call 911. But they really are impossible to get out of! Still sounds funny, though.

    Yeah...so much in the news. Are all men really monsters? I don’t believe that. Some women are monsters. Some men. Then there’s the rest of us, wondering wtf.

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    1. Yes . . . thanks for your thoughts, Sandi.

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  13. I like the corn maze. I only saw it 2 hours ago and have already figured out a path through it!

    As for the plethora of molestation accusations trending lately, unless there is evidence or a witness the arguments for accused and accuser are of equal depth. I once served on a jury in such a case and understandably, no verdict was reached. Unfortunately, the only recourse for those who have lost repute or jobs over the accusations is to sue for slander or libel. This whole farrago has a ways to go yet or I miss my guess.

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    1. Geo., I always knew you were smart! S-M-R-T, smart, as Homer Simpson says :)

      It does seem like this is going to be an extended discussion, doesn't it? I do hope it goes beyond the current stage at some point.

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  14. I think I could still get lost in that maze. Ha! Have a good one, jenny_o. Take care.

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    1. Ha ha! Be sure to take Ms Frizzle with you, then :)

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  15. i think we're all trying to find the place where we draw the line in this me too movement.

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    1. It will be interesting to look back in a year's time and see just how far we've gotten, won't it?

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  16. That maze is my speed.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Mine, too. Let's go get our walkers and old-lady sneakers on and try not to get lost together, Janie.

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    2. We have to remember our hearing aids, too!

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  17. That is wise. Best to let something simmer before diving in. I often sleep on things to see how I feel about them the next day. Or the day after that.

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    1. Or even the week after that . . .

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  18. You are a donkey Jenny - and not a chicken! Come on tell us what you really think about the "Me Too" social media phenomenon. Perhaps drink a couple of bottles of Beau's Lug-Tread Lagered Ale before pressing the "Publish" button.

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    1. After two drinks of anything I'd be unable to type!

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  19. I'll look forward to your post if/when you decide to publish it.

    It's a difficult situation - on one hand, I (like every woman I know personally, and that's a sad statistic right there) have dealt with everything from disparaging or threatening remarks to groping that got pretty scary before I was (fortunately) able to shut the guys down with a display of physical aggression.

    On the other hand, I like men in general (except the jerks) and I have a lot of male friends. Sometimes the jokes get pretty raunchy and I'm right in the middle of it laughing my head off. BUT... I'm only comfortable enough to laugh with my guy friends because I know my boundaries will always be respected. Any woman who feels unsure about that will be (and should be) cautious, if not outright defensive.

    And I think that's the crux of the whole #MeToo movement. As long as women fear that their "No" won't be enough to stop a guy's bad behaviour or outright assault, we'll keep seeing the kind of reaction we're seeing now.

    For those who have never experienced an uncomfortable or dangerous situation, the movement seems over-the-top. For those who have had their control and personal safety forcibly taken away, it won't be enough until they can know for certain that their "No" will be respected without question and without personal or professional repercussions. And, as much as I hate to say it, we're a LONG way from that point.

    This movement must be a terrible shock to a lot of men - it's a frightening feeling to know that you might be attacked solely because of your gender. Women have lived that reality for generations upon generations, but it's a new feeling for a lot of guys. While it might be tempting to just grin and say, "Welcome to our world; payback's a b****", the truth is that none of us will "win" until everyone feels safe in their own skin.

    I hope we'll eventually find middle ground, but I doubt if it will happen without harming innocent victims on both sides.

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    1. These are all very good points and helpful to me in clarifying my thoughts, Diane - thank you.

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  20. I don't think for a moment that all men have harassed women. neither do I think it is necessary to feel bad for the innocent ones unless there have been specific allegations made.
    It is past time to shine a light on this kind of behaviour. Having said that I think there should be a statute of limitations on Franken style exposes because I do think that expectations have changed a little and it is probably not right to judge some long ago behaviours on modern standards

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    1. I agree about changed expectations, and you make a great point about not needing to feel protective of the innocent men. All the comments here, including yours, have helped me process the issue better.

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  21. i used to play and wander in the fields of corn maze when i was little .
    this one seem stolen by some


    i agree with Sandi above that men and women both have some spoiled dirty group of people among them who makes the whole genre embarrassed .
    but this is true that most of men are monsters

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    1. "stolen corn field" - hee hee!

      Yes, there are bad people in every group but most are good!

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