Almost Ready For My Public Debut

We had to replace our washing machine a couple of years ago, and although we chose the simplest model - the one most like our old one - and it does a good job, there are still times it drives me nuts. It has some kind of electronic sensor that it uses to determine if the load is balanced, in terms of weight, and it also has a locking lid.

I understand the locking lid; it's a safety feature that will probably save my hand/arm/life at some point in the next twenty years as I develop dementia and forget to let the spin cycle stop before reaching in.

And I like the fact that it will decide if the load is balanced so it doesn't wreck the tub, banging and crashing into the sides of the washer - instead, it meekly stops and refuses to go until I redistribute the load and it feels mentally and emotionally prepared to proceed.

But it takes SO LONG to do its electronic wizardry. The wash cycle ends up taking about fifteen minutes more per load than a similar cycle did in our old washer. When the machine is started, it spends time whirring and clicking and whirring some more and clicking some more, and eventually - if it is completely satisfied with my offering - it allows the water to run in. Each time it starts to do something different, it's like the machine has to re-think whether it's happy with its life: is it really done swishing? is it ready to spin now? what about now? is it okay with the rinse water about to flood in? is it ready to swish again? is it okay to spin again? is it okay to unlock the lid now? because the spinning only completely stopped one full minute ago, and this lady doesn't always appear to have all her faculties ... okay, I guess it's okay to unlock, SIGH.

So yesterday one of my loads wasn't to the liking of the Great White Washing Machine (GWWM) and required redistribution. Done. Punch the start button. Silence, click, whir, weird chugging sound, click, whir, chugging sound ... it didn't sound good, so I hit the pause button, waited a dog's age for everything to process so the lid would unlatch, repeated the process ... except, THIS time I was more careful, actually taking everything out (quite wet) and placing things back in, piece by piece by piece, trying to judge with my hands how heavy each item was. Re-started GWWM, and waited while it went through the whole recalibration thing, plus this time actually spinning and draining, and finally, reluctantly, interminably, coming to a stop and one full minute later unlocking the lid.

But did I waste all that time being upset? swearing at GWWM? going back upstairs and then forgetting that the wash needed put in the dryer?

No, no and no. Although I have done all of those before, I admit.

NOOOO. This time, my friends, I decided I'd take advantage of the wonderful acoustics of the laundry room and the resonance of GWWM's lid, and I created a drum solo that was THIS CLOSE to sounding like this:

(It's easier to see the excellent handwork of the drummers if you click on the Youtube icon and view the video directly on Youtube.)


I'm thinking of getting a hat and a pair of chopsticks for my next performance. You know, take things up a notch.

(Photo credit: Pixabay. Yes, I know that's a turkey. I couldn't find a picture of a donkey playing a drum. Go figure.)